I had found out that it didn't matter how smart I was and
how talented I was; it didn't matter which skills I had, or
the story that brought me to were I was. All that counted
in life is the people I invite into my life and with who I
create new stories. It's a notion so simple, yet so difficult
to get started with due to our armor of invincibility, that we
tend to run away from it. This usually happens because of
that tenacious shield that tell us that we are greater than
everybody else and that we eventually will become
bulletproof. Let me tell you something, we will never be
bulletproof. !
The only way you can make sure that you will find your
way through the uncertainty of life is with the right people
by your side.!
Learning to build relationships!
We may agree that learning about relationships is
important — but how much time you actually spend
on learning how to relate to others?!
That was my next insight. I needed to start learning a new
way of building relationships. A way that will allow me to
have people in my life with whom I do not need to
pretend to be someone I am not; people that will tell me
the cold truth in my face instead of talking about me in
the corners of the room.!
Firstly, I realized that in order to build new and healthy
relationships it is important to put oneself right in the
spotlight. We will not be able to connect with others
authentically if we keep on hiding, mysteriously tugging
strings behind the scenes. Yes, we will face criticism, it
comes with the doing. But we will be able to be seen by
those that – like us – are in the search of great
companions for this journey called life.!
Secondly, I found out that bold honesty is a critical factor
for success if you want to be surrounded by people that
respect you and are not scared to tell you the truth even
when it hurts, and that are expecting you to do the same.
Start being blunt and honest from the very beginning, for
some it will be hard to cope with, but at the end only the
ones that fit the standard will stay. !
And thirdly, I had to learn to ignore all the chatter. Many
close people – including family – will tell you what to do
and who to hang around with, and they will make valid
arguments. Sometimes some people will not understand
the choices we are making concerning our relationships,
some even will get hurt and will try to hurt you back. It’s
primordial that you understand your own choices and
open straight forward conversations that stop the chatter.!
One of the persons I chose to let go of my life was a very
close friend with whom I spent a lot of time going out
getting drunk and spending money I didn’t have. He
obviously felt left apart and started to find ways to hurt me
back. I reached out to him and told him openly the
reasons why I have decided to spend less time with him. !
It was not an easy conversation to have, and he left very
pissed off. I thought that was as far as our story will go.!
Two years later our paths crossed again and he thanked
me for that conversation, it was the nudge he was also
needing. Nowadays we have grown closer together since
we are not the same people we were. I am sure that if we
have stayed together we will still be hunting bars in the
search of happiness in the bottom of a beer bottle.!
Important note: some people still judge me by
the person I was, and I had learned to live with
that. The important point here is that I recognize
my change, I know that I am a different person
today; and I humbly acknowledge how much
surrounding myself with the right people has
made that possible.!
The people I spend most of my
time with – or that are always in
my head/heart...!
Today, the people I spend most of my time with change
very often. As I move, people around me move as well. I
have learned to get over seeing this as a painful process
and accepted it as a beautiful gift of life: the more people
I get the chance to closely interact with, the more I learn
and the more I dignify life itself.!
However there are some constants that allow me to stay
grounded. Some of them are people I often meet and
others are people I keep in my head and in my heart all
the time. !
I have invited some of these people to write articles for
the first issue of this magazine, these are the right people
in my life. No matter for how long we have not seen each
other, every time we exchange an email of a FB message
it is full of beautiful insights and straight forward honesty.!
The authors of the articles in this edition are some of the
smartest people I have ever met or worked with. They
are the epitome of focus, perseverance and
determination and I'm constantly blown away by them. I
hope you will be too. I could say I'm the average of them
all and that thought makes me happy and honored.!
I choose to believe this is how it works. The people I
spend the most time with, make me. I am their average.
Are you with me in this one? Let me know – voices of
dissent are welcomed.!
editorial
Two unexpected side-outcomes started to reveal: (1) my
right people were attracting more right people into my life!
And, (2) the people that used to spend time in my head
creating anxiety and fear started to vanish. I had found a
way to work both heavy weighing pressures out of my life!!
!
Love tons,!
!
!
Dey Dos!
Popcorn Curator!
!
I’m looking forward to your feedback on the magazine or
inquiries about submissions of articles for the next edition:
mail@deydos.com !
Dey Dos Magazine | 5