Are you becoming the average
of some average people?!
“!
Are you making smart choices about the
people you invite into your Life?!
You're the average of
the five people you spend
the most time with
Jim Rohn!
The first time I read this quote I couldn’t help it but feel
aversion towards it. “I am who I am and no one has the
power to change that except me.” – I told to myself out
loud with rage and irony. And I found out that I was not
alone as you can see here and here, and in many more
places if you keep on searching online.!
editorial
Time passed by and I grew older and calmer (or so I
choose to believe) and I got to see it once again
somewhere somehow, I guess it was in my newsfeed in
Facebook. This time my own reaction struck me, I was
seeing the same words in a completely new perspective.
All of a sudden I felt humbler and wiser and I had nothing
else to do but to agree with the sentence; and it was then
when I went into researching about the author of the
quote and the story behind it (Find more about Jim Rohn.)!
My new perspectives!
I used to be a loner; that kind of lonely warrior that does
everything by himself and believes he is self-sufficient.
Everything changed in 2010 when I got extremely ill for
the second time in my life and was not able to sustain
myself. At that time, only the constant support of those
that love me kept me alive, both emotionally and
physically; they even paid my bills for six months until I
got back on my feet.!
Rethinking relationships at that moment was a must in my
life, and I needed to find a way to pay back what I have
unexpectedly received. I was astonished to find out that
they didn’t want any pay backs, they just wanted me to
keep on moving forward and to stay by their side. As you
can imagine, this experience changed me completely.!
Today I can say with humility and total ownership that
those around me highly determine the way I think, act,
and the type of results I get; and that they constantly
change me whether I want to accept it or not. Since my
new perspective sank in, I take a great deal of attention to
the people I surround myself with and invite into my inner
circle.!
4 | Dey Dos Magazine
Like it or not!
Whether we like it or not we are greatly influenced by
those closest to us, not only by the people we spend
most of our time with, but also by the people that spend
most of the time in our heads – the ones we cannot stop
thinking about. The presence of these people affects our
way of thinking, our self-esteem, and our decisions for
better or for worse.!
We can deny this fact by arguing about the power of free
will and about being smart enough, but the truth is that
as human beings our most constant way of learning,
adapting and changing is happening in an unconscious
level and it works by absorption. We tend to repeat those
behaviors and attitudes we constantly see manifested
around us; that is how cultures are born, nurtured and
expanded. And we are not foreigners to that reality at
personal level. Of course, we are still ourselves and we
will always be, but research has shown that even our
health is affected by our social networks and the support
we receive from them. !
The best way to deal with this dilemma is to start making
smarter choices about the people we let in on our lives
and heads.!
The right people!
How do I find out who the right people are for me?!
Here is some easy way to start: Make a list up to 5
people and answer the following questions.!
What do they do with their lives? How ambitious are they,
how successful have they been, how happy, optimistic,
and enthusiastic are they?!
Do they challenge you to give your best at whatever is
you are doing? Or do they tell you that everything is OK
the way it is? Do you see them as an inspiration to aspire
for more and to be better every day? Or do you see them
as someone you need to constantly protect and support?!
Base on your findings you will have several options to
take it forward. I will share with you what I did once I
finished this exercise.!
I separated the people in my list into those with whom I
wanted to continue spending time with and those that I
wanted to let go of, no matter how painful. I started to
slowly decrease the time I spent with the former and
increase the amount and quality of time I invested into my
relationship with my right people.!