Dey Dos Magazine January March 2014 | Page 12

Feeling unfulfilled and empty? For a very long time I had a very negative mindset about myself and I didn’t even know about it. I would like to share my story with you.! Two years ago I was doing everything I thought I was supposed to do: be a very good student, have a side job next to the university, lead a workgroup at a student association, be a sweet daughter and girlfriend, do sports, volunteer, etc. Yet all of these, I felt unfulfilled and empty. Despite my young age, I felt my life was passing by next to me without me taking real part in it. ! happiness Actually I felt like I was a warrior with a sharp sword. I kept on using this sword pointed towards myself: “Why cannot I do something good? Am I a good enough for anything? How do I dare to dream big? Why am I not content with my life when people don’t even have food to eat on the other side of the globe? Why cannot I have a straight back and nice posture? Do I really think that I am that smart to follow my dreams? Why am I so late with everything? Why cannot I just be successful? Why didn’t I get an even better grade? Why am I not more muscular, have less weight? Why does it take me to complete an essay days instead of hours? Why don’t I have the courage to drive a car? Why do I seem so often gawky? Why am I freezing when it comes to public speaking? Why are others happier than me?” And so on. Questions like these were always flooding my mind.! Luckily when there is a warrior in a story, there must be fairies along the road as well. I called upon them when I was the most desperate. I was literally standing in our garden on a chilly summer night, shouting into the darkness: “I want answers, I am ready for them!” And the fairies heard it. They had actually heard me before, but at that time I was not ready to receive their help and listen to the signs. With the help of my fairies I realized that actually I have a very powerful sword; I just used it the wrong way. I learnt to stop using it against myself, instead I used all the power and energy it already gave me to point it towards my goals and shape the way towards them. ! And those questions turned into: “What is my passion? What are my goals? How can I reach them? Are there any other ways? What serves me best? How can I be my best friend? How can I love myself and others without comparison? How do I accept my shadows?”! And the secret of the fairies? ! It is very simple. It was a mirror. ! “! As you can imagine it was not that simple to look into it. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Slowly I started to point my attention from outside to inside. I saw clearly my strengths and my weaknesses and I realized that they are just like the two sides of my sword: I need both to live my life to the fullest. So let me ground this story on a more practical base. It all comes down to this: I am imperfect and so are you. And that is what makes us whole. It is our decision if we keep on blaming ourselves or we acknowledge our two sides and focus our energy on something else, like living the life we want to live and making it happen.! Some things that might help you as well on the way: I read two books from Brené Brown: The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly. I looked for two life coaches who helped me learn to love myself and learn to take action. I started to build up a rhythm: I wake up early and I write a list of things I do every day. And the funniest: I often stand in the mirror telling myself that I love myself.! I will leave you with my two steps: ! •  Step #1 Believe in yourself! (Turn the sword!) ! •  Step #2 Action (Cut the way!)! Judit Osika is a girl who is learning to live from her heart. She is a freelancing coach and quilling artist based in Budapest. She thinks creativity is often misinterpreted as something connected solely to art or handcrafts, while she believes creativity is a human trait that we can cultivate when we have the right tools, people and atmosphere around us. The same happens with talents: all of us have them – she says. Her goal is to serve people in their process of finding these traits in themselves while she is exploring them inside herself as well. CONNECT WITH JUDIT! www.SoulfulQuilling.etsy.com www.facebook.com/soulfulquilling www.facebook.com/judit.osika1 12 | Dey Dos Magazine Her dream is to travel around the world offering her workshop where quilling (paper stripe technique) is used as a tool in developing self- expression and creativity combined with coaching tools. Another of her dreams include to have a dog soon, as she is fond of them. Her motto comes from Gandhi: “Be the change you want to see in the world.’’