Feeling unfulfilled and empty?
For a very long time I had a very negative mindset about
myself and I didn’t even know about it. I would like to share
my story with you.!
Two years ago I was doing everything I thought I was
supposed to do: be a very good student, have a side job
next to the university, lead a workgroup at a student
association, be a sweet daughter and girlfriend, do sports,
volunteer, etc. Yet all of these, I felt unfulfilled and empty.
Despite my young age, I felt my life was passing by next to
me without me taking real part in it. !
happiness
Actually I felt like I was a warrior with a sharp sword. I kept
on using this sword pointed towards myself: “Why cannot I
do something good? Am I a good enough for anything?
How do I dare to dream big? Why am I not content with my
life when people don’t even have food to eat on the other
side of the globe? Why cannot I have a straight back and
nice posture? Do I really think that I am that smart to follow
my dreams? Why am I so late with everything? Why cannot
I just be successful? Why didn’t I get an even better grade?
Why am I not more muscular, have less weight? Why does
it take me to complete an essay days instead of hours?
Why don’t I have the courage to drive a car? Why do I
seem so often gawky? Why am I freezing when it comes to
public speaking? Why are others happier than me?” And so
on. Questions like these were always flooding my mind.!
Luckily when there is a warrior in a story, there must be
fairies along the road as well. I called upon them when I
was the most desperate. I was literally standing in our
garden on a chilly summer night, shouting into the
darkness: “I want answers, I am ready for them!” And the
fairies heard it. They had actually heard me before, but at
that time I was not ready to receive their help and listen to
the signs. With the help of my fairies I realized that actually I
have a very powerful sword; I just used it the wrong way. I
learnt to stop using it against myself, instead I used all the
power and energy it already gave me to point it towards my
goals and shape the way towards them. !
And those questions turned into: “What is my passion?
What are my goals? How can I reach them? Are there any
other ways? What serves me best? How can I be my best
friend? How can I love myself and others without
comparison? How do I accept my shadows?”!
And the secret of the fairies? !
It is very simple. It was a mirror. !
“!
As you can imagine it was not that simple to look into it. !
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Slowly I started to point my
attention from outside to inside. I
saw clearly my strengths and my
weaknesses and I realized that
they are just like the two sides of
my sword: I need both to live my
life to the fullest.
So let me ground this story on a more practical base. It all
comes down to this: I am imperfect and so are you. And
that is what makes us whole. It is our decision if we keep
on blaming ourselves or we acknowledge our two sides
and focus our energy on something else, like living the life
we want to live and making it happen.!
Some things that might help you as well on the way: I read
two books from Brené Brown: The Gifts of Imperfection
and Daring Greatly. I looked for two life coaches who
helped me learn to love myself and learn to take action. I
started to build up a rhythm: I wake up early and I write a
list of things I do every day. And the funniest: I often stand
in the mirror telling myself that I love myself.!
I will leave you with my two steps: !
• Step #1 Believe in yourself! (Turn the sword!) !
• Step #2 Action (Cut the way!)!
Judit Osika is a girl who is learning to live
from her heart. She is a freelancing coach and
quilling artist based in Budapest.
She thinks creativity is often misinterpreted as
something connected solely to art or
handcrafts, while she believes creativity is a
human trait that we can cultivate when we
have the right tools, people and atmosphere
around us. The same happens with talents: all
of us have them – she says.
Her goal is to serve people in their process of
finding these traits in themselves while she is
exploring them inside herself as well.
CONNECT WITH JUDIT!
www.SoulfulQuilling.etsy.com
www.facebook.com/soulfulquilling
www.facebook.com/judit.osika1
12 | Dey Dos Magazine
Her dream is to travel around the world
offering her workshop where quilling (paper
stripe technique) is used as a tool in
developing self- expression and creativity
combined with coaching tools. Another of her
dreams include to have a dog soon, as she is
fond of them.
Her motto comes from Gandhi: “Be the
change you want to see in the world.’’