tea or nonalcoholic beer
can go a very long way to
keep you clear-headed and
sociably pleasing.
• You can only make a wish
come true if it’s meant to be.
I wished for and got a white
beard the day I was born.
Mrs. Clause has white hair.
She got it the same way I got
my beard.
• Christmas is partly about
opening presents and the
other part is about opening
hearts.
• Try buying just batteries for
a Christmas gift that reads
toys are not included.
• You can’t buy friends in a
store. They are worth more
than you can put a price on
their value.
• Warning, never go into a
barbershop for a quick hair
cut five minutes before closing.
A fast haircut may leave you
bald.
• If you know you can’t afford
to buy a gift asked for, do it
with style, remember that all
important truths are easy to
understand.
• Bear in mind that Christmas
should be a good day, when
a person compliments your
tie, or costume jewelry, take
it off and give it to him/her.
The gesture will never be
forgotten.
• If you want to give a gift to
yourself, do something nice
for someone else too.
• Don’t celebrate this holiday
season with a chip on each
shoulder. You need your
shoulders to be free to be
able to give out holiday hugs.
• Life is like a home made;
first time ever, baked
Christmas fruit cake turning
out well, sometimes you just
have to have a little faith.
• Stash different size gift
wrapped empty boxes under
the Christmas tree, and stick
a message on it that reads for
little kids only. The
experiences of watching
them open the boxes are
more valuable than real gifts
almost every time.
• Remember that you will
make many mistakes but try
to get most of them done
before you reach thirty. Santa
made many mistakes when
forgetting to freshen up his
breath before talking to
visiting children.
• Even on casual Friday work
days, don’t be a streaker or
don’t dress too casual. I
always dress up in my favorite
casual outfit. It is comfy,
clean, and smells like candy
canes.
• Learn to tie Christmas
balloons into funny
decorations. Try making up
a jolly Santa.
• Santa loves to snack on
cookies or peanut butter
and crackers and a cold glass
of milk. Please leave a
spreader knife.
I must shorten this message
now because the animal crack-
ers are playing hide and seek
with the elves and Mrs. Clause.
They must settle down into
their boxes and get gift wrapped
as special Christmas treats for
all the good boys and girls.
Wow, that was fast, the animal
crackers are already to go.
The most important first mes-
sage I have for you is; not to
worry because even with the
lights out, I can still find your
house. Remember Santa Claus
was put in charge to deliver
Christmas gifts to people of all
ages across this world.
Second and last message is;
after all my Christmas jobs are
said and done, I will spend a
few hours playing a game of
winter golf to try out my new
red golf cart sleigh and 8 iron.
The magic of Christmas will
still be in the air as all of us are
busy making our own happy
holiday memories. Here’s wish-
ing you a joyous Merry Christ-
mas and a great New Year.
SANTA
HO-HO-HO
A note from the Author:
It has been so much fun
playing with words to
bring about amusing
and entertaining stories
portraying people and
other living things as
out of the ordinary.
So, I wrote, and wrote,
and wrote for over
sixty-five years. Each
article was stored away
in a box never to see the
light of day until now.
DECEMBER 2019
39