December 2019 December 2019 | Page 38

The Golf Cart CHRONICLES BY: SUZY JAMES - WWW.ITSNEVER2LATEBOOKS.COM This Is A Story taken from The Golf Cart Chronicles - A Compilation Of Funny Golf Cart/Golfing Related Short Stories MAKE IT A DECEMBER TO REMEMBER SANTA’S GOT A MESSAGE FOR YOU! • If you have not been good all year, I’m canceling your hen you stop Christmas. believing in Santa • May your Christmas gift be a you get underwear that is golf car, new, state-of-the-art tacky. expensive, and free. • You can’t buy a golfing hole-in- • Don’t be naughty or one in a store; you can get one you will save Santa a in a sock for free. trip to your place. • The older you get, the younger • You can’t buy dreams Santa Clause looks. My magic in a store. My dreams mirror helps too. are kept in a diary • Smart golfers never test the (woops I meant dairy), depth of water with both feet. I that’s where I drop off prefer the frozen kind. special cow snacks • Do you know what I got for every Christmas. Their Christmas last year, fat, jolly, milk is Moolicious. tons of mail, and a Ho Ho Ho? • Keep happy and calm • You can’t buy time in a store. and jingle all the way We can tell the time by the to celebrate this holiday special tinkle sounds made by season. our reindeer’s and elves when • I’m dreaming of a jingling their bells. white Christmas or • Why is Christmas like a day at else I’m going golfing. the office for working parents, SUZY JAMES, Author W 38 WWW.GOLFCAROPTIONS.COM • • • • you do all of the work and the chubby person (me) wearing the Santa Suit gets all the credit? I believe in Santa. You can’t buy love in a store, but you can give your heart for free. Big heart, more love. Oh, for the days back then when people stopped Christmas shopping when they ran out of money? To tell you the truth, my reindeer have sore backs from carrying all the gifts purchased on credit cards. We use a lot of magic to deliver every gift on time. For some people golfing is a sport to see which score is the best, but respect of all scores is a true sign of friendship between real friends. Never drink more than two alcoholic beverages at a social Christmas function no matter how long you stay there. Iced