HOW TO AVOID
dating & relationships
Words by: Nohely Ortiz Gedeon
IT'S TIME TO BREAK YOUR REVOLVING DOOR DATING PATTERN
Knowing what to look for in a man is the first step to finding a potential partner. But is acknowledging the
possibility that you might be choosing the wrong type of man the first step to finding your Mr. Right? Dawn
Magazine spoke to Elizabeth Sullivan from lovementor.com and dating scholar and author Zoe Strimple about
how you can avoid falling for the same type of guy; and these ladies know a thing or two about the intricacies of
men and dating…
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ACKNOWLEDGE that you have a pattern.
Familiarity is comfortable, but it’s also easy - and easy isn’t always good. The urge to find a
reassuring comfort in something you’re already used to can be strong; especially when moving
on from a relationship that didn’t necessarily end badly. But Zoe Strimple says to think of it like
this: “it’s a bit like people who suffer from a compulsive eating problem. Having the same drama
again and again is a sort of reassurance. The only way to move away from that is to be tough with
yourself and you have to say there is a pattern.”
REASSESS your ideas about chemistry.
And we’re not talking about the scientific kind. If you continuously find yourself in situations
where things aren’t working out, it’s time to assess what you associate as a healthy connection.
“Chemistry is important, but the chemistry only has to come from the same old source that it’s
always come from,” says Strimple. “You have to stop and figure out how else to be.” So, you might
find yourself drawn to the same type because of your own connotations with ‘good chemistry’; be
that good or bad. Elizabeth Sullivan adds, “Look for the same feelings you’ve had before. If you’ve
often felt insecure or not sure what’s happening and those feelings are there again, it’s likely to be
the same.”
PRIOTIZE your needs.
Look for people you share similar interests with. If you have kids, focus on finding someone who
likes children. “Don’t think: they might grow to like my children,” says Sullivan. “Ideally it’ll be
someone who makes an effort with your children.” Striple suggests using online dating as an easy
way to expand your dating pool. “Don’t shut down opportunities”, she says. “But you need to
prioritize searching for somebody who understands your situation.”
Issue 01 • Dawn Magazine • 16