A
ccording to a study by Inter
Nations in 2015, amongst all types
of expats, the group identified as the
least happy was the group that made
the move abroad for love. But Dawn
spoke with Maria Vinhas, a woman who
despite these odds, found true happiness
and saved her marriage
by moving abroad…
from sandy beaches to concrete jungles
When Maria Vinhas imagined her life, she never pictured it would
be so far from everything she grew to know; but the sandy beaches
turned into concrete jungles, the radiating ever-present sun became
a constant heavy grey cloud and the coffee turned into just bitter,
tinted water. “Everything began when my husband moved away
to UK in 2004,” Vinhas recalls. “Although we spoke on the phone
everyday and sent letters regularly, it just wasn’t working out for us
as our marriage was lacking the physical contact and intimacy that
a couple should be able to share.”
With a small daughter to raise, Vinhas felt as though her life was
getting more and more complicated without her partner by her
side: “my daughter was still very small and didn’t really understand
why she, unlike the other kids at school, couldn’t be with her dad
everyday - why she couldn’t share the laughs, the stories and secrets
with him. It was a very difficult time. I didn’t know what to tell her.
She would cry for her dad and there was nothing I could do. That
was when the idea of moving abroad came around.”
11 • Dawn Magazine • Issue 01
Although content with the decision to move abroad to be with
her soul mate, her new adventure was off to a rocky start when
she realised that her old life in Portugal was something that she
couldn’t quite leave behind. “Shortly before we made the move
to London in 2007, my mother was diagnosed with two differ-
ent types of cancer; skin cancer and lymphoma,” Vinhas recalls.
“It was a constant battle between my conscience and my heart,
[and] I have always felt very guilty for not taking care of her
as I should have. I think the guilt will follow my heart wherev-
er I go. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change
everything, but that probably means I wouldn’t be who I am
today.”
ADAPTING TO A DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE
And life in the U.K. was proving to be anything but an easy walk
in the park. “Something I found particularly challenging when
I arrived here was the living conditions I had to face. For three
years, I had to live in a double room with my husband and my
daughter, whilst sharing the house with complete strangers. We
had no TV. We had to have meals in the same room that we slept
in. We had absolutely no privacy, not even a private bathroom
for us. Everything in that house had to be shared.”
“
I do miss the people i have
left behind, but right
here, i am close to my
soul mate and that is
something that i am not
willing to give up just yet