Daughters of Promise March/April 2014 | Page 11

Dreams than mine or anyone else’s. And I’d rather live with you holding the Box… because I don’t do too well with Boxes, or Dreams. {February 2014} God gave me this picture of how I held my dreams over 5 years ago when I was 27 years old and single, in the middle of a time of intense ministry to women in the red light district of Chiang Mai, Thailand. I felt called to this ministry, but after this surrender I wondered if even that was from God. It woke me up to the way I was holding onto the desires of my life. And then the emptiness came. If I had just given back all of my dreams to him, could I trust Him to give any of them back to me? He did. As they came they came clearly and with precision, so I couldn’t miss them. This was from me, and this one too, He told me. And He gave my heart permission to dream again. Sometimes we just need to hear from God. Are my desires His desires for my life? Oh Jesus, wake up my heart to long for your desires for me! To long with abandon, and without shame. To keep my heart alive without numbing! If I have a chance to look back on my life at the end of it, there’s a possibility that I will see a pattern of God’s rich wisdom threaded into the days of my life. But there is also the possibility of not seeing or understanding why He gave me this and this, but not that. He is God. He is Could I trust Him to give any of them back to me? He did, and gave my heart permission to dream again. 11