or pain tolerance , which may be quite low , during the session , that is something that can be built up over time and gently cajoled towards improvement each time . I would never take someone past their expressed limits or ignore a safeword . I have in the past introduced some subs to forms of submission that they had not previously expressed an interest in , that I thought they might like to try , which they go on to actually really enjoy , but I would say this is explorative rather than going against someone ’ s wishes . If they didn ’ t want to do it , we stop immediately .
PD : How important is after care to You ?
Aftercare is dependent on the sub . Some hardcore masochists don ’ t want any , as part of their kink however I obviously ensure the wellbeing of all my subs and get to know their preferences in terms of aftercare , for example be it giving them a sugary snack , a cup of tea and some water , followed by a chat about how it was for them , some words of encouragement , or they maybe just have a lie down and I will sit with them , perhaps a hug if it ’ s appropriate , and I sometimes like to ask for pictures and a bruise diary in the weeks after .
PD : Is there anything that You haven ’ t done within the BDSM world that You wish to ?
My partner Gal and I had wanted to throw a small , play focussed party for our experienced kinky friends to practise their skills in a safe , friendly and encouraging environment with their fellow peers and help curate contemporary BDSM . Both with backgrounds in theatre , we came up with the concept for Scene ( IG : @ sceneldn ). We created a space that was warmly lit , with a contemporary aesthetic , blending art , theatre and playroom , allowing guests to play and be watched : take turns being exhibionist and voyeur . We threw our first event in April 2022 , in a warehouse gallery space in London , and it was met with a really positive response and we can ’ t wait to hold the next one .
PD : How do You perceive the “ lifestyle ” as being viewed in mainstream society ?
I see a lot of the aesthetic being worn without the knowledge of the heart of the culture . That being said , it ’ s not fair to gatekeep something , and Kinksters don ’ t own the aesthetic , the same way that punk doesn ’ t own its aesthetic . What irritates me is that you can still be ‘ outed ’ for being kinky , and many people hide this aspect from others for fear of being found out or that they might