good personality to make up for it. I wonder if everyone is
praying I don’t share classes with them next year, or if they
hope I’m not at school tomorrow. I wonder if anyone actually
likes me at all. The inner therapeutic friend in me said “God
loves you.”
It felt kind of stupid at first, but then it dawned on me. This
is why people believe in this God. It’s because he gives you a
sense of hope, a sense of happiness in your darkest time. It
doesn’t work if you don’t truly believe in him, because it feels
like you are just trying to make yourself feel better by telling
yourself that these fake people like you. You have to see the
light. It’s a little teal, a little white, and reminds you of an orange.
In that moment, I cried from happiness.
I realized that, no matter what, if God is actually real, then I
must have a path that he is guiding me through, just like the
people at FCA said. It made me feel 1000 times better, and I got
online to do some work to give him a reason to be proud of me.
(Of course, I wandered over to my Drive to type this out, and
that took about three hours.) But it’s all worth it, and I feel like a
new person. I felt like sharing this discovery somehow to a lot
of people in case they are going through the same thing,
especially around testing, so they can get their lives together
too.
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