Yellow light! Next was calm down time. Again,
I taught them several different ways they could calm
down. Our favorites were drawing a picture, looking
through a book, popping balloons, shaking the calming
jar, or scooping rice. This was not a traditional time-
out. It’s not about punishment but about teaching
the valuable skill of emotions regulation. If someone
needed help, I offered it. “Would you like to draw me
a picture?” or “Would a hug help you?” Again, this
eventually became something they could do without
my assistance.
Green light! Go! Once my child was calm and
ready to re-engage with his sibling/peers, he and I
would say “Green light! Go!”
This is a really good tool to use in conjunction with
teaching emotional intelligence. The concept is simple
for children to grasp, and it provides a visual cue for
your talking points. By age 4, my children could stop
themselves and calm themselves down some of the
time without assistance. My age 7, they were able
to do this most of the time on their own. Now that
one’s a teen and the other is close behind him, they’re
emotional intelligence is high, and although no one is
perfect 100% of the time, I can definitely see how using
this tool in conjunction with discussing emotions and
teaching skills helped them to grow in this area.
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