• Respond with empathy . When our children open up and tell us things , particularly if they divulge trouble they ’ re in or something they did wrong , it can be difficult not to jump to judgment and lecturing , but this shuts down communication and makes children feel unsafe . Even when children make poor choices , if we can respond calmly and with empathy , we keep communication open and strengthen our relationship , securing our spot as their safe place .
• Use positive discipline . Some common discipline methods cause separation between parent and child , and they require that the child “ work ” to get back into our good graces . For example , “ Go to your room and don ’ t come out until you can behave ,” tells the child that we do not want to be with them unless they can “ be good .” Yet , from a developmental standpoint , children aren ’ t always capable of controlling their emotions , impulses , and behaviors , and when they are having a hard time doing so , this is the time when they need us by their side the most . Swap separation-based discipline such as time-outs for time-ins . Here ’ s how .
Remember , messy rooms will one day be empty . A bad report card won ’ t matter in 5 years . Tantrums end . Your relationship with your child is what will last a lifetime . Build it strong and nurture it daily . •
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