Holding space for tears and upset is something that isn ’ t easy to do for any child , but unfortunately , it still seems particularly taboo for boys . As a mother raising two sons , the topic of raising emotionally healthy boys has always been of interest to me , so while we were on the subject of sadness , I wanted to get Miller ’ s take on boys ’ emotional health and their need to safely shed tears . She says , “ When we consider that boys and girls have the very same emotional systems , it ’ s mindboggling to think they would need to be treated differently . Being able to feel their sadness is what moves young children to have their tears . Tears are meant to signal to us they ’ re upset and in need of our comfort . By the time a child cries tears of sadness , loss , or disappointment , they have already experienced the emotional hurt of things not going their way . When they burst into tears upon hearing they may not have another cookie , it ’ s an indication they ’ ve felt the pang of futility associated with not getting what they so desperately want . Their tears are an external sign of their brain ’ s acceptance of this very sad fact and shows that they have entered the emotional process of adapting to circumstances they can ’ t change or control .”
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