special Feature
But when I had a chance to sit down
with her, it became apparent that for
as strong and independent as she was,
my seemingly iron-clad daughter
was very vulnerable to feelings of
disappointment when it came to mom
and dad. The more she got scolded,
the more she became discouraged.
And the less confident she became in
her abilities to behave well. It was
then when I sought out to understand
her motive first, and began pursuing
more positive and encouraging ways
to motivate her. Which leads me to
my next point.
2. Don’t forget about positive
consequences. Criticisms take on
different forms than just audible
words. It can be the impression we
leave on our kids that nothing they
do is good enough. If all we’re focused
on is their flaws, if the only form of
feedback they receive comes in the
form of negative consequences, we
are criticizing them much louder than
we realize.
17