AWARENESS_______________________________________________________________________________
Ending the ‘Shame' of Single Mothers
By Misbah Akhtar
N o woman asks to be a single mother. It’s a relentless task with around the
clock responsibilities and no one can prepare you for that. It’s not a job, so you
cannot quit – it’s a duty and you have to be both a mother and father.
Added to that is the massive pressure you
face from society. You feel as if everyone
is waiting for you to make just one wrong
move. And if you do, they pounce on
you saying that your child has many faults
because you lack mothering skills. This is
why so many single mothers feel isolated
from their communities. Every year
divorce rates increase drastically, adding
to the already large number of single
Muslim mothers. So how strange is it
then that this is an issue the Muslim
community refuses to adequately
address? Single mothers are humiliated
and isolated from their community as if
they chose this path for themselves. The
women are seen as the perpetrators of
divorce. And it's commonly assumed that
they should have tried harder to please
their husbands to avoid getting divorced
in the first place People also wrongly
assume that if you get divorced and have
children, you can go back and live with
your parents so you have financial
support and safety. However, that's not
true for everyone. Some women lose
their families when they become
divorced, and others don't even have
families to go back to.
.
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In 2009 I became a single mother and
found no organisation to support me. I
wondered where all the single Muslim
mothers were. And it seemed that
women from other religions were
represented in society, except for the
single Muslim mothers. As Muslim
women we are governed by our faith,
and have to work within the boundaries
of our Islamic principles in order to
navigate through our struggles, which
means our needs are specific.