Family Matters
by Darshania and Joseph Gell
Our ancestral karma runs deep and has been affecting our current family’s spiritual progress for generations. When we begin to make causes to transform our family's "poison into medicine" through consistent prayer, ceremonies and compassion, changes occur. We may not recognize or view the progress in our own perspective, but what we see as slow and gradual is a tremendous victory for our future family members. Three years ago I began to focus prayers on my family to unify with a heightened spirit of love. In that same year I saw some prayers answered. During my sister's graduation week we all sat down together to commune for a meal for the first time in 17 years.
My parents split when I was 14. Since then we had never experienced sitting at a table with both parents present and all my siblings. Even greater was the fact that my mother and father were able to sit together minus any drama and were recollecting and laughing as they told stories of the past. At that point I realized that there had been some healing and forgiveness between them. I also witnessed that they stopped slandering each other. I still continue to pray as I know that breaking the yokes of our family's negative past is not an overnight thing. I now have inherited my wife's family karma so the prayers have increased and our determination to shift this karma is greater than ever.
I, like others, have felt at times that my family was selfish, overwhelming or hard to deal with, and yet still yearned to be closer. It seemed almost overnight, all of our family somehow got too busy to check in. I would attend family gatherings on holidays and still felt distant. Years passed and I still longed to be closer to my family. After taking care of my great grandmother for seven years, I truly understood the importance of unconditional love; the kind of love that still has to wake up and be cheery, even when someone is screaming at you; the kind of love that sacrifices desires or goals for the wellbeing of others. At 21, while many friends were just self-absorbed and pursuing worldly aspirations, I was giving my "abuelita" (great grandmother) a bath. I still don't know how so many of us got used to this nuclear family way of thinking that we have forgotten about what is truly of value.
About six years ago, after my abuelita transitioned, I began making a sincere effort to communicate with family more. I began with calling more regularly, checking in and seeing how they were doing. I would make more efforts to visit family that lived far away and invite family closer in proximity for a meal or coffee. Rather than being bitter or upset, I knew I could change