PARENT TIPS CONTINUED
• one of her sons, unlike the rest of the family, had no interest in sports. Instead, he loved fishing, anime, and studying reptiles, all of which she saw as“ totally out of my lane.” Rather than forcing him into the family mold, she listened, validated his preferences, and engaged with him in his passions, reinforcing that he belonged fully“ in a house full of sports enthusiasts.” Similarly, in The Motivation Mindset Workbook: Helping Teens and Tweens Discover What They Love to Do, Drs. Ellen Braaten and Hillary Bush suggest prompts to build self-awareness, such as: What are my strengths and what are clearly not my strengths? How do my strengths match those of other people, especially the adults, in my life? Who is the person I’ d like to become? This kind of reflection promotes self-advocacy and belonging for all kids, especially those with learning differences.
• Help your child be an“ upstander” who actively responds to bullying. From playgrounds to national podiums and virtual platforms, bullies relish inflicting verbal, relational, or cyber violence on targets who“ deserve to be hurt.” Help your child distinguish between ordinary conflict or meanness and the imbalance of physical or social power that bullies use to exert control, and practice responses through role play. They might stand beside a targeted peer, ask what they need, labeling the perpetrator’ s behavior as hurtful, or enlist the support of peers and / or adults. Explain that bullies love an audience. Suggest ways to distract onlookers or respond with a comeback(“ We hear you, but we don’ t care”) or provide an exit strategy(“ Let’ s go shoot hoops / go to the library”).
• Model and teach perspective-taking, a powerful form of cognitive empathy involving feeling and reasoning. Advocacy expert Heather Hansen argues for this approach in her Tedx Talk when she describes students who spent hours hand-knitting scarves for people experiencing homelessness, only to learn recipients might not wear the scarves due to fear of being strangled in their sleep. Reconsidering the challenges faced by the unhoused prompted them instead to donate socks and underwear, funding their service project by selling the scarves. Perspective-taking requires slowing down, suspending judgment, and approaching others with genuine curiosity. Ask thoughtful questions, listen carefully, and consider how an individual’ s background and experiences shape their attitudes and actions. This deliberate shift from instinctive judgment to informed understanding predicts a more compassionate response. •
Julie Stevens is a parent, former school psychologist, and former independent school teacher. She has written numerous articles on parenting and moral growth that can be found on csee. org.
CSEE Connections Summer 2026 Page 37