PARENT TIPS CONTINUED
supercharged by belonging . Reflect as a family on times you ’ ve felt truly heard so you can recreate a context for dialogue that is inclusive , not exclusive .
• Talk with your kids about belonging and exclusion based on class difference and socioeconomic status . If your family is economically privileged , you or your kids may experience a range of feelings about the abundance and security you enjoy . Together , examine the opportunities and advantages that may distinguish your kids from friends / peers . Start early as even very young children naturally notice unfairness , including economic disparities . Acknowledging privilege is not about making kids feel bad . Aim to empower them to speak up honestly about their position in the economic hierarchy . Remember that if some have privilege — a car on campus or access to a vacation home — by definition , others don ’ t . Consider how first generation or scholarship students may experience a cultural mismatch and question that they belong in school settings organized for their wealthier peers . Harvard professor Ellen Braaten notes that if kids realize they ’ re getting a bigger piece of the pie , they can contribute to positive change , not out of feelings of pity for others or embarrassment for themselves , “ but because they ’ re concerned about someone else ’ s rights and feelings .”
• Connecting online is embedded in much of school , work , and social life , so help your kids minimize harm and maximize healthy virtual belonging by managing social comparisons . Especially for adolescents , excessive social media use can lead to devastating outcomes . But those most vulnerable are least likely to disconnect . While viewing air-brushed images of celebrities intensifies the pressures teens feel when comparing their bodies to a cultural “ ideal ,” they relish following fashion trends as they develop an individual style or track influencers who physically resemble and inspire them . Acknowledging both the perils and pleasures of digital life , parents can remind kids that balancing screen time with getting enough sleep , physical activity , and in-person socializing supports mental health . Researchers have found that using social media to compare one ’ s opinions with those of others — as opposed to one ’ s abilities or looks — can improve feelings of optimism and provide young activists with a powerful platform for expressing / refining their views . Consider how Greta Thunberg ’ s tweets promoted belonging : “ I have Asperger ’ s ... given the right circumstances being different is a superpower .” She presents an authentic example of a woman with ASD , prompting others on social media (# ImWithGreta ) to show their support for her . •
Julie Stevens is a parent , former school psychologist , and former independent school teacher . She has written numerous articles on parenting and moral growth that can be found on csee . org .
CSEE Connections Summer 2023 Page 33