Parent Tips : Belonging Eower ,
By Julie Stevens
In Letter to My Daughter Maya Angelou declares “ I have thousands of daughters . You are Black and White , Jewish and Muslim , Asian , Spanish speaking , Native Americans and Aleut . You are fat and thin and pretty and plain , gay and straight , educated and unlettered , and I am speaking to you .” Angelou called her 2008 collection of essays an “ offering ” to the children of others . She concludes the first essay , titled “ Home ”: “ I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home , a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do .” When honored recently by President and Dr . Biden , Teacher of the Year Rebecka Mozdeh Peterson echoed Angelou , noting that educators serve their students and democracy by creating “ spaces that insist we belong to each other ” while learning and teaching “ how to belong to ourselves , so we can belong to each other .” While some politicians ban acclaimed books and art as “ immoral ” or manufacture and capitalize on false cultural divides , we can hold to Peterson ’ s vision that “ in the end , maybe we ’ re all just walking each other home .” In this spirit , the tips that follow touch on ways for parents to nurture the connection between feeling at home and belonging that all children deserve .
• Find family-friendly strategies to build community and belonging while deepening understanding of biases and stereotypes that divide us . Participate with your kids in neighborhood projects , share age-appropriate stories exposing the breadth of human experience , and be allies of the disempowered . UCLA ’ s Tiffany Brannon suggests addressing not only prejudice — intended or unintended discriminatory behaviors — but also pride , by highlighting counter-stereotypical ways to approach the experience of marginalized people . An example of this comes from research on implicit math gender and cultural bias . When researchers limited use of materials that only depicted scientists as men ( prejudice ) while presenting stories of female mathematicians ( pride ), they shifted young children ’ s implicit biases around gender . Studies have shown numerous benefits for white middle and high school students when they investigate how peers of color contend with the legacy of segregation or stereotypes around low achievement . Be willing to rise to the central challenge of belonging : while diversity has to do with numbers and inclusion with behaviors , belonging demands that we promote a feeling in those around us . Doing so hinges on deeply appreciating the perspectives and lived experiences of others .
• Practice conversational styles that lead to broader understanding of shared values by encouraging curiosity , authenticity , and vulnerability . Sensitize your kids to avoid joking or teasing that might be experienced in some groups as bullying . Workplace research reveals how traditionally male approaches to creating community through verbal sparring can backfire with women and people of color — remember that banter only succeeds when power , privilege , and status are roughly equal . Communicators who listen closely , make space for all to participate and monitor their own emotions as well as those of others , facilitate dialogue
Page 32 Summer 2023 CSEE Connections