THE GI FT O F D I FFE RE N C E
“
and the public conversations it inspired,
they were taking care of each other and
peacefully discussing those differences.
The skill-building we had done paid off!
In the face of the intense polarization of
our society, there are myriad resources to
support communities in engaging in re-
spectful dialogue. The Anti-Defamation
League’s Guidelines for Respectful Dia-
logue include tips, such as “communicate
to be understood,” “pay attention to your
feelings and your triggers,” and “consider
the relationship.” Bonnie Tinker’s LARA
method includes advice about how to
most effectively Listen, Affirm, Respond,
and Add to enable positive dialogue.
Journalist Krista Tippet began the Civil
Conversations Project that includes guid-
ance for how to frame difficult discus-
sions, encouraging people to share their
perspectives on their truth instead of the
truth. It offers that conversations are most
productive when they are grounded in
“words that matter, generous listening,
adventurous civility, humility, patience,
[and] hospitality.” With so many different
models available for maximizing dialogue
across difference, each school community
can find one that feels like the best reflec-
tion of its values.
With so many different
models available for maxi-
mizing dialogue across
difference, each school
community can find one
that feels like the best re-
flection of its values.
”
Training around issues of diversity, equity,
and inclusion can serve as an important
foundation for a community to fully ap-
preciate the strength that comes with
its differences. Schools sometimes think
they are more homogenous than they
are, especially politically, because they
have not yet created an environment in
which people feel safe sharing their dif-
ferences. By appreciating and celebrating
our diversity, we expand our understand-
ing and our capacity for empathy. When
our differences feel like the elephants in
the room, we need to heed the motto of
educational consultant Jen Cort and “in-
vite the elephants in for tea.” And we need
to start thanking them for coming.l
Lauren Brownlee is Upper School Head at Carolina Friends School. She previously served as
Director of Social Action at an independent school. In 2018-19, she served as Visiting Scholar for
CSEE, leading the online course “Building the Beloved Community.’ Through her connections with
the Movement for Black Lives, the Quaker Palestine Israel Network, and the Friends Committee
on National Legislation, she has had many opportunities to practice dialogue across difference.
CSEE Connections
Summer 2020 Page 9