PARENT TIPS CONTINUED
• know I had , this is what I really want to pursue , this approach gives me a strong sense of meaning and purpose .”
• Rely on ritual — traditional or unconventional — to facilitate transition . From the favorite book / song that helped your kids get to sleep right up to donning the cap and gown at any age , ritual remains relevant . Despite the pandemic restraints on gatherings , ceremonies to celebrate or memorialize continued in creatively altered forms . A stunning 80 percent of Bruce Feiler ’ s interviewees reported that a ritual demarcation , public or private , such as getting a tattoo , jumping out of a plane , or shedding unnecessary possessions , helped signal the end of a transition .
• Take advantage of the dynamic relationship between transition and creativity . Feiler catalogues the many ways his Life Story Project respondents turned to creative endeavors . They painted , danced , sang , wrote / played / listened to music , or even cooked . He notes that creativity thrives on isolation and disconnection , in part because being out of sync or out of touch with others promotes risk-taking . Also , moments of disorientation and chaos give rise to innovation and artistic breakthroughs . The fresh page , the blank canvas , or the curtain about to part can be consoling , invigorating and generative .
• Explore the power of your family narrative . Researchers have teased out how story telling eases transitions and build resilience . Neuroscientists demonstrated that simply labeling negative emotions — putting your fear into words — reduces stress . That potential expands when elders share life stories . Director of the Family Narratives Lab at Emory Robyn Fivush and colleagues measured the connection between kids ’ knowledge of family history and their ability to cope with challenge . Greater awareness of family lore predicted a host of positive outcomes . Harkening back to the non-linear life model , this study identified the advantages of the oscillating narrative — your forebears were emancipated slaves or destitute immigrants , they built a thriving business that later failed , but all their grandchildren are educated professionals — for fostering a protective , intergenerational view of self . ( For developmentally appropriate guidance on family narrative , see https :// news . emory . edu / stories / 2020 / 04 / esc _ covid _ 19 _ family _ stories / campus . html ). •
Julie Stevens is a parent , former school psychologist , and former independent school teacher . She has written numerous articles on parenting and moral growth that can be found on csee . org .
CSEE Connections Fall 2022 Page 33