Comstock's magazine 1019 - October 2019 | Page 73

frame) and told them, “You know, you could think of this as a 70 percent success rate.” Unlike the first group, they didn’t change their minds. They were stuck in the negative frame. The brain can be stubborn, and it has a hard time going from negative to positive. This research helps explain why, say, star athletes obsess more about the rare loss than the many wins. Back to failure. For it to be truly useful, Payne, the leader- ship coach, says we need to learn from the failure to avoid re- peating the same mistakes. We need to reframe the experience from a negative (failure) into a positive (learning opportunity). As trite as it sounds, maybe there really is power in positive thinking. Research from Robert Emmons, also a professor of psychology at UC Davis, suggests that keeping a daily journal of positive things we’re thankful for — a spouse, an umbrella, a funny joke from the Lyft driver — can demonstrably boost our outlook and lower stress. “Our minds have this sort of fundamental, natural tendency to focus on negative informa- tion,” Ledgerwood says. “We can train our mind to do it better. But it really takes some attention and care. Our minds aren’t going to do it on their own without us intervening.” This doesn’t happen instantaneously. Failure can be emo- tional, it can be painful, and Ledgerwood and Payne stress the importance of acknowledging the loss, as opposed to immedi- ately flipping it into a positive. October 9 Central Valley Clean Tech Showcase Take the case of Brenda Horton. She had a million-dol- lar idea, or maybe even a billion-dollar idea. She launched a Sacramento-based startup, ProPlanner, a productivity tool that allowed for easy collaboration across teams. It felt big. After all, every organization on the planet has teams, and they could all use a better collaboration tool. “We were setting it up to be a global company,” she says now, and envisioned a valuation north of $1 billion. For three years, Horton and her chief technology officer (her husband) bust- ed their tails to launch a demo, find beta testers and raise capital. And then life got in the way. Horton suffered a loss in the family, a second loss, and also had an accident that broke her upper jaw and sent her to the emergency room, which required surgery and rehab. They lost momentum and strug- gled to raise capital. The pressure took a toll on the marriage. She looked at the burn rate, the dwindling funds and did what sometimes must be done: She dissolved the company and killed the dream. Losing ProPlanner was crushing. “It was a loss,” Horton says, her voice full of emotion. This is something that the cheery embrace-failure speeches tend to elide. Failure is hard. Failure can make us question our competence, self- worth, even identity. So we need to grieve. “Grieving is an SMALL BUT MIGHTY A business law firm that’s efficiently scaled, yet effectively skilled. at the Capitol Events Center in Downtown Sacramento Organized by Sponsored by the California Energy Commission www.cleanstart.org Sheila Lamb Carroll, Principal   Transaction | Employment | Litigation  thecarrollfirm.com | 916.488.5388 October 2019 | comstocksmag.com 73