Holidays
Holidays with your Intense Child
Holidays with your intense child can cause a great deal of discomfort . You ’ re concerned about keeping things socially acceptable ; you would rather not see “ that look ” on your sister-in-law ’ s face , and staying home in front of the TV never felt so appealing . But on you go , feeling the pull of family responsibility , not wanting to disappoint people – still knowing you will , because it ’ s almost impossible to take your child anywhere without a scene .
Five tips for surviving , and even enjoying , the holidays with your intense child . Yes , it ’ s possible , and no , you don ’ t need therapy or medication to get there .
1 . Talk in advance with your child about how it will be at the relative ’ s house this holiday .
2 . Consider that sensory issues are at the core of the misbehavior you see in your child . Too many smells mingling , sparkly things and bright snow , tags on new clothes , sounds of people all talking at once , proximity of other bodies , and the taste of unfamiliar foods can throw a child into a state of complete undoing .
3 . Make a plan to decrease the sensory input for your child . Ask him / her what would feel good : would you like to go somewhere in the house if it gets to be too much ? How about spending time under mom ’ s big jacket ? What breathing exercises would you like to do to calm yourself ?
4 . Decrease expectations for your child ’ s participation and ask others to do the same . Remember that intense behavior such as tantrums come from being overwhelmed .
5 . Go to him / her frequently throughout the visit to give her positive statements about how well she ’ s doing . “ When you take care of yourself while we ’ re at Aunt Sarah ’ s , I feel so proud of you .”
These statements help your child stay on a “ string of successes .” Your child will respond with more successes , as you are causing a response in their body that says , “ I am good at this .” The better they feel about how they are doing , the more they ’ ll do it !
Source : Feigal , Tina . Holidays with Your Intense Child .
“ These are great tips ; both for the families who have that intense child , and for the families who may be welcoming the intense child ,” says Emily Tinetti , Parent Educator with Anoka-Hennepin Schools Early Childhood Family Education .
Tinetti shared these additional tips :
• If possible , talk with the family that you are visiting beforehand about some of your feelings as well as the possibility of setting up a place in the home where the child can take a break .
• Think about your child ’ s basic needs before you go so you are setting them up for success . Are they well-rested ? Have they had enough stimulation , or could they be over-stimulated ?
• Give your child permission to take a break , and if necessary , bring along a comfort item or timer to help aid in the break .
Finally , Tinetti added , “ This may be a great opportunity for a successful visit , which you can celebrate with your child , strengthening your bond along with your child ’ s ability to cope !”
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