Community Bankers of Iowa Monthly Banker Update August 2013 | Page 16

Do you have to be the center of attention? People who talk too much are attention-competitive. What they are saying is, “Pay attention to me!” Interrupting is another competitive behavior. Some people compete by starting a side conversation. They’re proclaiming, “What I have to say is more important than what others have to say.” People who seek to be the center of attention are terrible listeners, too. When someone else is talking, their minds wander and they rarely ask questions or contribute a comment. Are you controlling? If you don’t recognize your own controlling behavior, hiding your goat will be impossible, leaving it exposed and vulnerable. So how controlling are you? • • • • • • • • • Do you talk too much? Do you frequently offer unsolicited advice? Do you have trouble apologizing? Do you pout and refuse to talk when you get angry? When you want something done, does it have to be done now? Are you habitually late? Are you often accused of not listening? Do you often finish other people’s stories? Do you usually have the last word in an argument?

is like an unopened letter.” Just as it’s impossible to reach your destination when you don’t know where you are, you can’t become who you want to be until you’re sure who you are. I challenge each of you to take an introspective journey. Then change the parts of yourself you don’t like and accentuate those you do. Having a clear self-image is essential in relationships, confidence and growth - and the only way you can hide your goat is to discover it first. Underestimating yourself, minimizing your situation and magical or one-track thinking can conspire to get your goat. These things didn’t appear overnight. The final installment of Steve Gilliland’s “Hide Your Goat” series will examine the blueprint for self-directed positive action, which begins and ends with understanding what holds you back. It’s time to get unstuck and, once and for all, rise above what gets your goat.

If you desire good relationships with your fellow workers, your spouse, your children and your friends, discover – and then eliminate – your controlling behaviors. Do you get too angry? You may not like to admit it, but you know if you have an anger problem. What you may not understand is what drives that anger, its consequences or what you can do to change. How you interpret events in your life could be negative by default, thereby generating your own anger. The people you surround yourself with can play a significant role in how you interpret certain events as well. Negative people often gravitate toward each other, further fueling the situation. Things not going the way you expect can also ignite your anger by making you feel off balance, threatened, challenged and not in control. Maybe the worst byproduct of getting too angry is that you name-call, exaggerate and become sanctimonious. I once read, “A life not examined

We’ve Upgraded.
New Look. Same Wisdom.

BOLI & Deferred Compensation Experts

800.780.4EBN

ebn-design.com

©2013 EBN

14

CBI Banker Update

.

August 2013