FEATURE
The Three Toed Monster
By Brian Adams
CONTEST WINNER!
I have a customers whose carpet was so bad that the health department contacted
me for it. A family here owns 3 labs, older dogs, grey chins on them to give you
an idea of age. They have NEVER been outside. . They kept them pinned up in a
living room / dining room combo where they do ALL of their business.... the gross
part is they don’t clean it up, let it accumulate over time.... They were taking care of
one of their parents there who was in hospice and the nurse told her supervisor who
contacted the health department which is how I got the call.... So I roll up in there
on my 1st visit and there are PILES of dog poop on the carpet, a light grey color...
Some fresh, some so old they had to use paint scrapers to get it off.... I wouldn’t
touch it until they had the chunks removed. When I returned there was 13 plastic
grocery store bags FULL of dog feces and paper towels. So when I walk back in the
man is vacuuming the room.... the beater brush SMEARING the remaining fresh
poop ALL over the place. The craziest part about it, this is pretty funny, there was
one piece of hard poop that had like a fossilized foot print in it, like a pterodactyl or
something with 3 toes. When I was talking to her she told me she had diabetes and
lost a few toes. So glanced down and low and behold,3 toes!
Hound of Hell
By Kevin Bunce
We went to Mrs. Piffletons house on Wednesday. She was a regular customer.
Leaves a note, always leaves key under mat. We are to lockup when done. We
arrive, and clean everything on the note just as she said. She was sure to note to not
worry about her dog. Puffy was on his last days, and that was why we were there.
Just shoo him to the side and you will be fine. He is deaf and blind. We were all
wrapped up, it was a super long hose run to the van. I was brushing the last room
when Puffy decides to make his entrance. He looked like he was really struggling to
walk, and then I realized. His struggles were that of the “bowel” kind. Thankfully,
it was rather solid. But that dog laid it down like a bear in the woods. 4 or 5 piles.
Pheewy! We picked up all the piles and put them in the toilet and tried to flush it.
Toilet was plugged now. Carpet needed re-cleaned. So, we re-cleaned it, sucked out
the toilet, and it was still plugged. We plunged and plunged for all we were worth
to no avail. Finally, we decided to contact the customer. We left a note also and a
voicemail at her work. That night the customer called. Her complaint was that her
technician had plugged her toilet after he went #2 in it, and blamed it on the dog.
“No way a dog can poop that much” her plumber told her. Never been back. Talk
about a crappy situation. That dog cost me 109.00 plumber bill
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