issue 34 working_Layout 1 8/7/2013 11:45 AM Page 35
CIDER MAGAZINE
ISSUE 34
PG 35
WWW.CIDERMAG.COM
What do you get when you play Country music backwards? You get your wife, your dog, and your truck back. A mom heard a disturbing sound as she passed her daughter’s room in the hallway. An “ooh”, an “ahhh” a “yeah, baby, yeah” The mother stormed into the room.. “Are you listening to Justin Bieber???” she exclaimed. “No, mom, I’m just watching porn,” she replied. “Pheeewww,” the mom exhaled and left the room. “Thank god”. How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne was getting her for Christmas? Easy, he’s not that good of a wrapper. ?ere’s a rumor circulating that several of Taylor Swift’s ex boyfriends are getting together to release a new single.. “Maybe you’re the problem”. Michael Jackson’s last request before his death was for his body to be melted down and made into plastic bags so he will still be a hazard to children. How do you wake up Lada Gaga? Poke her face
CAUTION: Please do not read unless you have a sense of humor. Thank you.
CIDER JOKES
David McCooey, also know as RealEyez, will be taking his quick rhymes and sunglasses to Washington State, in hopes for greater opportunity. “The hip hop scene in Washington is blowing up. I’ve been living and performing in VT for about 7 years now,” said David. “I love my home base fans and everybody who comes to see me perform, but i feel like it’s time to take a chance with this hip hop, and really try and make it happen.” David made a significant mark on the local hip-hop scene with his collaboration with Clint Pecor of Dethavesk at The 2nd Annual Cider Awards. The performance was talked about repeatedly as arguably the best performance of the evening. “Vermont is a great place to get started, but it’s hard to make it big in vermont. if i had any advice for budding artist out there, I'd say build a home base audience and enlighten and educate yourself as much as you can. Then go urban once you feel your art is ready.”
a cider send off for realeyez
Local Hip-Hop Artist heads for west coast
Cider Mag would like to wish David the best of luck as he continues on his journey to realize his dreams. We are certain he has the talent and drive. “This is not the end, but a new beginning. To all my friends, fam and fans, thank you all, be good to each other, and yourselfs.” Kick ass David.