38 CHOICES | 2013 SPRING ISSUE
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR! You can BE, DO, and HAVE anything in life that you want. What do you dream about? A great relationship? A bigger house in a better neighborhood? A luxurious vacation each year? A job that’ s fulfilling? A new car? It’ s all within your reach, no matter what your situation is now.
Thinking About Staying Behind
THE SECRET
TO GETTING WHAT YOU WANT
The secret to getting what you want is to believe it’ s possible. But how do you believe it’ s possible if you are unsure?
irst, find out f everything you can about what it is you want to have, to do, or to be. Do your research. Find out what parts might be easy, what might be hard, what might be good, and what might be bad. The more you find out, the more uncertainty you eliminate. This will help to alleviate your fears.
If you are still unsure, sit down and figure out what it is about your ideas and goals that makes you hesitate. Do you feel like you just don’ t have the education or the skills necessary? Do you feel you lack the interpersonal skills to get along with people?
Maybe you feel you don’ t have the work experience, the time, the money, the energy or the resources.
Give Up the Fear
Let’ s face it, the only thing that’ s really holding you back is fear …. the Fear of Failure. Believe me; we ALL suffer from it at one time or another. We all have thoughts like,“ Oh, I couldn’ t do that. I might fail and then where would I be? Look what I will have given up to try something new and if I fail, I’ ll have nothing. I won’ t be able to support my family, myself, or pay my bills. Besides, what will people think?” Sound familiar? Let me assure you,
When we have a fear of failure, we are putting our energy into failing. We become what we think about – so if fear of failure is always on our minds, what are we most likely to attract into our lives? You guessed it – FAILURE! We are concentrating on failure and therefore, directing our subconscious mind to make us fail. When we think about our failures on a daily basis, we are simply rehearsing our upcoming results. Do you often find yourself thinking,“ I can’ t do it because I’ m not smart enough, attractive enough, educated enough, or thin enough?” Do you concentrate on the things you don’ t have or can’ t do such as,“ I don’ t read music, speak another language, drive a car or know how to golf?” Negative. Negative. Negative.“ I can’ t.”“ I’ m not.”“ I don’ t.” You’ ve rehearsed this long enough. You might as well go ahead and finish the whine.“ Everybody hates me. Nobody likes me. I’ m gonna eat some worms and die.” At some point, you must stop worrying about“ being enough” or what people think and just get on with it. Accept the responsibility for your own success and determine to move forward from this point on!
When I was a young woman, my mom pointed out to me there is nothing wrong with failure. You sometimes have to do it in order to succeed. Here is the example she gave me:“ When you were a child, you learned by trial and error. When you were learning to walk, it was not a game. Neither was it a test which you could pass or fail. It was skill building. You were learning a skill that you would need throughout your lifetime. If you fell down, no one said,‘ That’ s it. You had one chance and you messed up. You get no more chances. Stay down.’ No, when you fell down, we encouraged you to get up and try again. Then one day, you did it all by yourself. That’ s how it works. You try. You fall down. You get back up. You fall again. You get back up again and again until you get the result you want.”
There’ s nothing written in the rule book of life that