Chieftain’s Declassified: School Survival Guide
Our staff tries the impossible by creating a guide that will help you survive school
“Ned’s Declassified: School Survival
Guide,” a Nickelodeon television show
which aired from 2004-07, may be one
of the more underrated shows of this
generation. The show follows the lives of
three best friends, who together try to do
the impossible by compiling a survival
guide to middle school. The Chieftain
has decided to follow in those footsteps.
Throughout this year, we plan to have a
few tips each edition on how to survive
high school. The opening segment, like
this issue, is geared toward Freshmen.
Many teachers at Brother Rice have
a signature trait that all students must
know to survive their class. For example,
if you plan on passing Mr. Rayles’ class,
you must work hard enough that it won’t
be necessary to round up. He does NOT
round up.
If you want to be on Mrs. Katz’s good
side, do not make
cat noises in class.
Yes, the myth is
true, Mr. Rademacher is a stock
market genius.
That may or may
not be the most
valuable thing you learn from his class.
Don’t take your speech class for
granted: Mr. W really will grade you,
Don’t Be
That Guy
Freshmen
Tips for
Survival
Make note of these
traits to avoid
Perhaps as important as “Freshman Tips for
Survival” (see right) are things you should
NOT do at Brother Rice. This is a list of those
things.
So, “Don’t be THAT guy who ...”
Knocks off the trash can lid
Doesn’t come in Mass uniform
Takes the backpack off the chair in the
cafeteria
Blows the backpack whistle in the hall
way
That guy knocks off the trash can lid
Cuts the sleeves off the Field Day T-shirt
Walks into the wrong class
Asks if we have Band today
Walks slowly in the hallway
Asks if it’s a shortened Wednesday (we
don’t know)
Does the goon squad chant one too
many times
-Kordell Smith
Clubs and Extracurricular Activities
Business Club (BEAM&R): Mr. Dyar
Broadcast Club: Mr. McCarville
Chess Club: Mrs. Zink
Debate: Mr. Walentowicz
Latin Honor Society: Mr. DeMarco
Marian-Rice Players: Mrs. Adams
Model United Nations: Mr. Kuschel
National Honor Society: Mr. Dyar,
Mrs. Wagner
B ROTHE R R I C E H I G H S C HO O L C H I E F TA I N
and the grade really does count. And,
we apologize to be the messenger on this
front, but, yes, Coach Koss really does
only have two jokes.
Coach Shaffer enforces basketball
rules in the classroom: You better not
miss a shot in the trash can or you’ll be
doing some push-ups. When in doubt in
Mr. Sanders’ class, the answer is Truth
Still Matters. Mr. Huber might give you
some extra points if you bring him bacon.
Good luck with these teachers and
everyone else. And, if you ever need any
help, let us know. We know it all here at
the Chieftain, and we’ll print our advice in
future issues.
Quiz Bowl: Ms. Nuss
Robotics: Mrs. Savage
Spanish Honor Society: Sra. Bartlett
Students Against Destructive Decisions
(SADD): Br. Wielatz
Train Club: Br. Segvich
Warriors For Life: Mr. Rayles
-Jack Fitzpatrick
PAGE 2
Want to make it to Senior
year? Follow these tips
Don’t lose your ID
Go to the Rice vs. CC
game
Become friends with
Mrs. Stoltman
Wear a sweater in A
and C Wing
Respect your teachers
Study your Western
Civ every day
Take a class at Marian
Be ready for Mr. Car
rico’s homework
quizzes
Don’t use AirDrop
White shirt, Rice tie
Know the Four Pillars of Rice
Join a club
Be loud
Be proud
-Ryan Israel
S E P T E M B E R 2015