In Search of a Halloween Mascot
By Joe Simpson Chieftain Staff
Halloween is an exciting holiday that a lot of people look forward to every year , but it feels like something is missing this year .
If you look at Christmas , there is Santa ; Easter , there is the Easter Bunny ; Valentine ’ s Day , there is Cupid ; and so on . The question is : Why isn ’ t there a Halloween mascot ?
You may have heard of the famous author Edgar Allan Poe , a man with many followers , ranging from Brother Rice English teachers , to Evan Hubbs , to best-selling author Stephen King . Poe changed the way Americans see the horror genre .
King , in a New York Times article published in 2019 , said , “ Edgar Allan Poe has been my greatest influence when it comes to the horror genre .”
Poe has earned his legacy . After all , Santa is 1,000 years old and Mrs . Claus is only 427 years old , so , theoretically speaking , Eddie fits identically into the mascot community , having married a 13-year-old when he was 27 . Proportionally , that is similar to Santa and the Easter Bunny , who married Lola Bunny when she was 6 months in rabbit years ( one rabbit year is equal to 25 human years ), while the Easter Bunny was 3 .
The Chieftain has learned that King is working on a story that will replicate his famous short story , ‘ The Tell-Tale Heart ,’ by using a modern Michigan high school as its setting . A man named Adam von Valenstatz mourns over the loss of the once-decent “ Chieftain Live ” by haunting the halls , looking for the
Edgar Allan Poe
ghost of Julian Hermiz . “ It ’ s a great story , and I can ’ t wait for America to see Mr . Poe ’ s contribution to my work ,” King said .
Poe is one of the most influential authors to walk this earth . In addition to King , he is admired by many Brother Rice students
“ I volunteer once a month at the Edgar Allan Poe Children ’ s Foundation for Kids and Adults ,” Junior Luke Washe said , when asked how he feels about Eddie ’ s work . “ I find it very rewarding that me and my fellow Edgar Allians could come together and show our love for the horror and demons that possess all humans .”
Photo by Britannica . com
HORROR STORY
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“ That microphone is like $ 500 ! Why would you do something like that ? Man , we ’ re gonna be in so much trouble . ... Don ’ t tell Dubs !”
Back in the long and cavernous hallway , our two adventurers had nothing but a measly toothpick to aid them in their third trial . Suddenly , two more “ Chieftain Livers ” burst from the lockers and challenged them to a lifting competition . Failure here would mean their souls would be cursed to become sand in a sweaty man ’ s dumbbell .
Dean Williamson smirked , looked at the two , and asked , “ Wait , you ’ re serious ? Look at me , I ’ m huge !” He got on the bench and pumped out 20 reps of 225 , dusting the two “ Chieftain Live ” members . The Man of Strength , living up to his epithet , recalled the words of Mr . Shaffer , “ Trial Three will be the easiest ,” as they ventured onward into Mr . W ’ s classroom .
“ I have been expecting you ,” stated a bold and confident Mr . W . “ You two are foolish to come here on this day .”
We are all haunted by the intro to “ Chieftain Live ”
An argument erupted between Dubs and the Freshman over whether or not he could get his iPad back , until Mr . W threw a mysterious object into the air . The object then began to leak smoke and manifest into a humanoid form .
“ Oh no !” Mr . Williamson was trembling with fear at the sight before him , the ghost of former “ Chieftain Live ” host Julian Hermiz . Julian swarmed into the room , threatening the two adventurers .
All of a sudden , Mr . Shaffer marched into the room and stated , “ I told you , I have been watching .” He threw the same object that Dubs threw into the air and the same smoke began to manifest . The ghost of Tommy Shaffer , former Chieftain editor and Mr . Shaffer ’ s son , fought the ghost of Hermiz head on . They hit blow-forblow in an endless battle .
Julian got the upper hand on Tommy so the Freshman began to panic until a thought burst into his mind . He ran up to Dubs ’ desk and screamed , “ ‘ Chieftain Live ’ is not really live !”
Just as quickly as Julian ’ s ghost appeared , it vanished without a trace . Mr . W surrendered the iPad and Tommy Shaffer held the Youngling ’ s hand as they walked toward the exit .
Brother Rice High School Chieftain Page 9 octob e r 2020
“ Chieftain Live ”