had to know more . She felt that she needed justice for the abominable crime . Instead , she got the news of a gas bottle that exploded in another city . She was turning to mesh as the sequence of images bruised her space . The more she watched , the bigger the throbbing in her temples grew . She felt that she did not have time to fold and burn all this baggage . Each voiced fact and each born fantasy was being crowded in the front of her brain , leaving her no choice but to abscond from the overload of accursed information . It would all move to the back of her brain and fester there .
She was being traumatized several times a day and she could not stop it .
The opening of the front door broke the spell . She realized too late that her husband would see a tearing figure with melted ice-cream in hand , messy and unsaved . She was not ready to be seen that way and needed some way to legitimate it . She felt that she amounted to more than this .
In such occasions , her husband was registered particularly as an evil presence , sent to her by all that ’ s wicked to make her life even more miserable than it was . She was impatiently waiting for him to utter a word , but he settled in his usual place on the couch , not noticing the fire that was consuming her . Or did he notice and chose to remain outside her target-zone ? This possibility was worse , of course . He did not comment on the untidy room . He did not ask about lunch , for which he had returned from work , tired from four hours of lectures . He taught psychology and yet seemed oblivious to all significant suffering . Or was he oblivious ? May the Lord burn him the way my heart is burning , she thought .
He started to watch TV , so very intently . By what right ? Hasn ’ t he seen that she was watching something ? He suddenly switched to his phone . Calling and calling whomever he happened to remember . She was irritated at such fits that seemed to overwhelm him now and then . It felt as if he desired to summon a closeness that she could not provide . This irritated her even more . He was never the multitasker , but he started to switch channels on TV while talking to his sister . He then switched on some-option-or-other on the flat-smart-screen and started a movie he was keeping in his “ to-watch ” play-list . He was processing life in superficial hyphens . The movie started ; she could not stop thinking how her husband needs to feel the presence of the Western aura in his living-room . The flowing images got no attention from him . His big brown eyes , which were looking at the screen , were hearing what his sister was saying . He was cheerfully replying to her enquiries , his voice mingling with the speakers of the damn thing .