One Day too Many
Laila Sougri
Nour woke up the next morning feeling a random hatred creeping up and growing as the day unfolded . The exact source of such emotion was unknown to her . She felt vexation no matter what she did or what she felt . The multitude of it all was growing even more whenever she was touched by threads surging from the hell of her unconscious . Words , whispered to her from somewhere , were crowding her space , flying and breaking against the silence of the apartment . Her child was at a school thankfully . She wondered if the neighbors would hear her if she screamed .
She had learnt to deal with such days . That particular day , she barricaded herself in the bathroom . She took a long shower , making sure that she cleaned everything thoroughly , rubbing some parts with extra care . Decades of filth are hard to scrub . When she was done , she looked at her face in the mirror , from a hand-seized spot she cleared . She stared at the expressionless thirty-something eye for a while . Drops were starting to form a theme around the misty eye . Yes , she would start to cry if she could , but why would she ? The mirror was doing it for her . In the reflection , what seemed to be her hands – she couldn ’ t tell for sure the color – reached for her face , pressing strangely the warm and so cheeks . She was surprised at their coldness but she did not move . A sharp realization was about to darken her expression , but she did not have time for this .
It was almost noon when she went to the fridge , took a pot of vanilla-flavored ice-cream and two red apples . Sometimes she saw things moving from the corner of an eye . But when she would turn her head brisky , everything would become immobile again . She would smile to show whatever was hidden behind the curtains of stability that she was not fooled .
She settled in front of TV , brushing off her husband ’ s jacket , then started to look for a movie , preferably one with a stupid plot and pretty faces . Careless of which channels she was visiting , she got busy unwrapping the ice-cream , taking all her time because that was part of the process of temporary healing . Meanwhile the ads finished and the news started . She did not pay attention to it for a minute or two , but once the report of a killing that happened nearby was related , she felt compelled to follow the story .
She did not wish to see this . She did not wish to know about the killing of a child and the breaking tears of the parents . She did not wish to know about the murderer who was a relative . But she could not master the courage to switch off the broadcast . She felt that she