Small Apocalypses
Aimee Campos
He rubs his hands against my neck and turns his back to me . He smokes . I hate the smell . I imagine the smoke exiting his mouth and burying into my nostrils when I breathe , wa ing into my lungs .
He talks about children . Says three kids minimum should suffice . I hate children , I hate the way they look at you , large clueless eyes . I hate the idea of caring for something for so long . But I don ' t tell my husband . Instead I nod , fix my hand around his , agree with the notion that our children will make the world go round more than anyone else ' s .
The oceans are coming to an end , drying up . Soon , there will be nothing le of those large bodies of water . Scientists go on the news and assure the world that they are coming up with solutions . That with he y donations , they will make sure nothing is gone and that we will all be wonderful .
I call my mother and let her talk to me about my father and how I was a quiet child and then I became a loud teenager and now I am here . I am unsure whether she means I ' ve gotten louder or quieter . She likes my husband , so she asks if he still likes the pastries , she makes and leaves in a box outside our front door , but then answers her own question . Yes , of course he does .
My husband carries me into his office like the world isn ’ t falling apart . When we first met , he couldn ’ t figure out my eye color , even though whenever I look in the mirror , they are plainly brown . “ Three children .” He murmurs into my hair . “ With your eyes .”
“ Fine .” I say unattached , looking out the window while he runs his hands down my legs .
The world is saved but I wake up every night struggling to breathe . My husband wakes up with me and swears he is not bothered coming to my aid , but in the mornings , he is short and irritable .
I find out I ’ m pregnant two months later , and I sit in the doctor ’ s office and grasp prenatal vitamins and my husband carries me into our house like when we first got married . He is all smiles and nervous hair pushing . Which is strange , because I ’ ve never seen him nervous before .