Caring magazine 46 Caring July 2017 | Page 5

Connect with other carers: carersuk.org/forum C aring for older, seriously ill or disabled loved ones is something we tend to do out of love and compassion. It can feel completely natural and therefore unnoticed – simply doing what a parent, child, partner, friend does when someone close to us needs our care. So natural that we often don’t notice that we’re doing it, until the intensity of the role increases and we reach some kind of crisis. Noticing and accepting that we’re a carer – that what we’re doing is a specific role that’s worthy of recognition – is the first step towards the support that can keep us going. And we need our social systems to acknowledge that we’re a carer and that what we’re doing is worthy of recognition and support. Marie’s story... We need others to recognise the value of what we bring not just to our friends or families and communities but to society as a whole. Without that recognition, we don’t get what we need to enable us to carry on in our vital role. Whether that’s sufficient income to look after loved ones and live our own lives, the opportunity to combine work and care, or respect from health services and involvement in relevant decision making. As Marie’s story shows, we all have a role to play not only in recognising ourselves as carers but battling together for greater understanding in our society. I’ve just turned 50 and I’ve been caring for more than 30 years. For the first 20 years, I didn’t even know what a carer was, let alone that I was one. I care for my husband, Colin, who has poorly controlled epilepsy which causes him to have multiple seizures a day. As his health has deteriorated my caring role has increased over time. The first 20 years were very difficult. I had two young children and very little support. I was working part-time as a community support worker and my husband was working as a computer programmer. He was seizing four or five times a night and then getting up and going to work. We went from day to day, working around the seizures and the hospital appointments. “The first 20 years were very difficult. I had two young children and very little support” @carersuk /carersuk 5