CARIMAC Times 2016: The JREAM Edition Journalists Reviving Awareness of what Matters | Page 98

“Even though you’re alive and outside and you’re supposed to be able to roam free; it’s like you’re in a country within a prison.” People branded Burton with scorn and contempt. She said she tried to ask others for help, but often they paid her with only harsh words. “Even now when you go on the road and see a young guy begging somebody, they say, ‘Gwaan a yuh yaad. All you want do a dress up inna woman clothes and ketch man’,” she said bitterly. Her voice darkened as she added, “I decided in myself I will never stretch a palm again.” Over time, Burton realised the LGBTQ community offered little support as well. “When I was homeless, I thought the community would be ‘one’. But it’s not, because you have layers of stigma and discrimination. You get it from the wider society, but then in the community, they look at you and say, ‘you’re nasty, you’re a virus’... They call you all kinds of names and they look down at you.” Burton explained that most of the discrimination within the community stemmed from classism. “If you[‘re] gay and uptown, you[‘re] okay. If you’re gay and downtown, and on the street, it’s a battering.” Lewis agreed that transgender individuals also experience extreme discrimination from within the LGBTQ community, mostly due to Jamaica’s classist environment. For those who are homeless, the stigma is worse. “We see how people treat guys who wipe [car] windows; there’s that added layer of discrimination because people know that they’re homeless. So certainly for those who are homeless, they face more than just homophobia; they face added layers of discrimination because of their status,” he said. With the lack of support from society and the LGBTQ community, Burton’s situation darkened. She said things became so serious that she became involved in sex work. “It wasn’t a choice, like I wanted to go and do that, but circumstances put you in that direction,” she insisted. The job added its own challenges. Burton noted that there were many “imposters”, people who feigned interest in paying for sex, but robbed or assaulted her instead. Others demanded unprotected sex. But it was a demand she was forced to supply. “Hunger can be a very, very, very, cruel thing. Hunger would let you can’t think. So if someone comes and they say they want to go unprotected with you, and you think about safer sex, it would be a secondary option… Primary option is money and food and clothes, and maybe a place to stay, but protecting yourself from HIV… that would be the last.” Burton said, it was not only the hunger that impacted her decisions, bu t the negative energy thrown at her by society, and her own lack of self-esteem. “Men might say ‘After you nuh good’ [But you’re not good at this], kiss dem [their] teeth, and go down the road and get it [sex] at a cheaper price. 94