CARIMAC Times 2016: The JREAM Edition Journalists Reviving Awareness of what Matters | Page 59

Anderson giggled as she said her mother is what
she would describe as ‘bossy’. She said she is only
doing literatures in English to make her mother feel
happy and proud.
With a smile, she said, if she completes her degree in
literatures in English, she does not plan to use it in
the future. Anderson did not hide the fact that there
is a chance she could change her major in her second
or third year of study because it is a burden to her.
The practice of parents living their dreams through
their children, Dr. Gordon Stair said, is not uncommon.
She also acknowledged the fact that there are also
parents who have aspirations for their children but
do not force it on them. She conceded, though, by
noting that there are still quite a few parents who
are trying to make their children into replicas of
themselves.

intention of wanting what the parent sees as being
best for the child. In some instances, though, it could
be regarded as abuse out of ignorance. People don’t
recognise the harm that they can create. “I just want
what’s best for my child”, is the typical statement you
will hear in defence from parents.
Dr. Gordon Stair’s advice to parents who have a
tendency to stifle their children’s input in what
career path they take is: “I would love to see those
parents encouraging their children to do and be the
best at what the child wants to be and not what they
want them to be.”
*Name changed to protect identity

“I can’t speak for the entire Caribbean, but if the
students who I see here are anything to go by, I do
see kids coming from other islands who are doing
courses that they don’t necessarily want to be involved
in but are doing it because their parents hold the
power (purse) strings.”
She explained that gender may have something to
do with the likelihood of a boy or a girl doing what
the parents says.
“Chances are girls are more likely [to agree]. I don’t
have any statistics to back that up, but my intuitive
feeling is that girls are more likely to please others.
We have socialised our women into thinking they
are to please everybody, compared to a male.”
She said the practice may be considered abuse
depending on the situation. Oftentimes it is the

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