CARIMAC Times 2016: The JREAM Edition Journalists Reviving Awareness of what Matters | Page 49

“B

eing on this campus reminds me of
how I have to endure doing subjects I
am not interested in doing; and the fact
that I have to come here and do them
stresses me out a lot. And then I become
depressed,” Green said.

Her life took a turn for the worse the day she decided
to give in to her mother’s aspiration of becoming an
actuary, abandoning her dream of studying forensic
science. She said, in order to cope with what she
described as stress and depression, she resorted
to an unhealthy and dangerous habit that nearly
led to her death.

While unconscious, Green was taken to the University
Hospital of the West Indies (UHWI). She was later
told she had overdosed on marijuana.
This story highlights the brutal realities of children
whose parents make attempts to live their dreams
vicariously through them — a practice that has
affected the lives of many people like Green.

She began smoking marijuana twice per day.

A study conducted by Brad Bushman, a psychologist
at Ohio State University, and Eddie Brummelman,
a doctoral psychology student at Utrecht University,
found that some parents do hope to live out their
unfulfilled ambitions through their children. A total
of 73 parents — 89 per cent of whom are mothers of
children aged eight to 15 — participated in the study.

On the day Green nearly lost her life, she was at the
Department of Computing in the faculty surrounded
by her peers.

Bushman said the problem lies in the fact that “some
parents see their children as extensions of themselves,
rather than separate persons with their own dreams.”

“I didn’t smoke [on the day], but I ate marijuana
brownies which are way more concentrated. Normally,
a person must not eat a lot of them, but I was very
stressed that day,” Green explained.

The researchers concluded that the more parents
perceive their offspring to be extensions of themselves,
the greater the tendency to live their unachieved
aspirations through their children.

Nicolette Laird, one of Green’s close friends, said
after she ate the marijuana brownies, she began to
behave in an unusual way. Laird noted that Green
seemed to have not had much control over her limbs
or what she was saying. She said Green walked up
and down lurching as if she were a zombie. Then she
jumped high and low continuously and screamed at
people as they passed by, calling them names and
using expletives.

He said, when the child excels, the parent might
bask in the glory of the child’s accomplishment,
thereby losing some of the feelings of regret and
disappointment that he or she had from not achieving
similar goals earlier.

Green shared that after she stopped walking about
and jumping, her legs felt shaky and she thought
that she was running. Everything had been moving
fast around her. She eventually fell to the ground as
if having a seizure.

Moreover, Dr. Kai Morgan, clinical psychologist at
the UHWI, pointed out that unfilled desires form
part of the most predominant factors that cause a
number of parents to live their dreams indirectly
through their children.
“The parent may not ha ve had their emotional needs
met when they were growing up and so, as an adult,
they try to fulfil this through their children.”

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