Continue Your Own Healing
• Talk about your loss. Face your thoughts and feelings about it.
• If you belonged to a caregiver support group, consider returning to the group at least once for reminiscence, goodbyes, and closure— or even for longer, if you are so inclined.
• Think about whether you would gain solace through volunteer work for CurePSP or another organization related to the disease or particular issues you were dealing with.
• Resume or start a creative endeavor, such as painting, music, crafts, or writing. Any of these activities enable self-expression and the possibility of seeing things from a new perspective.
• Join a bereavement or grief support group, either in person or online. If, in the past, you have been a member of support groups, you know firsthand some of the benefits: commonality among participants, feeling less alone, receiving understanding and feeling understood, the reward of reaching out to others, socialization and relationships, information, and resources.
• In addition to planned online groups, there is an app called Goodgrief. It asks you a few questions about your loss, offers additional filters, and then connects you on a one-to-one basis to people in similar situations.
• Turn to your faith or faith group for guidance.
• Keep alive the good memories of your loved one. Talk about them. Reminisce about the positive moments you and your loved one shared. Retain precious mementos. Enjoy special photographs with your friends and family members. Include children or grandchildren in conversations and, in general, in the processes of grieving and healing. Create a memory book. Throughout, bear in mind that, although death ends a life, it does not end a relationship or your feelings about the person.
• Reflect on, and embrace, the personal rewards of having been a caregiver: Did you learn patience? Acceptance? Taking one day at a time? Did you discover inner strengths and resources you didn’ t know you had? Do you have a sense of pride and contentment that you were there for your loved one?
• Be aware that grief may re-appear even after you thought it might be over.
• Reach out for professional help from a psychotherapist or bereavement counselor, particularly if grief persists for many months, interferes with your day-to-day life, causes you to lose( or not regain) interest and pleasure in life, or makes you preoccupied with thoughts of death or a desire to die.
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The take-away message
We hope these ideas and suggestions provide you with directions, options, and affirmation as you grieve the loss of your loved one and map a new course for your life. Grief and moving on are processes that take time, are not necessarily linear, and are different for every individual. For many people, grief continues— in varying degrees and occasions— for a long time. Give yourself the time, the space, and the course that is right for you.
Resources
• AARP • 888-687-2277 • www. aarp. org
• Hospice Foundation of America • 800-854-3402 • info @ hospicefoundation. org
• www. hospicefoundation. org
• National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
• www. caringinfo. org / i4a / pages / index. cfm? pageid = 3367
• National Library of Medicine • https:// medlineplus. gov / caregivers. html
• Peaks and Valleys – Integrative Approaches for Recovering from Loss by Shelly L. O’ Brian, LCSW, 2014.
• Today’ s Caregiver Online Magazine, After Caregiving topics • www. caregiver. com / topics / caregiving