HOW DOGS ARE DIFFERENT
F
irst, let’s understand the vernacu-
lar. People who cater to the whims
and weirdness of a cat are not “owners”.
They are indulgent caregivers, willing
servants, but owners? Never! Even the
court system recognizes the difference.
Judge Wapner and his peers hold dog
owners responsible for anything a dog
does but cats can cause accidents, wreak
havoc in the neighborhood, and even at-
tack people with legal impunity.
Okay, that said, let’s start with cats
– and a stipulation. I am a cat lover and
while having lived with an African lion-
ess doesn’t make me an expert on the fe-
line family, certain behavioral traits are
pretty much universally accepted. Do cats
ever do what you want them to do when
you want them to do it? No. Even with
those highly trained TV cats that come
running for food, several takes are often
necessary because there may be a fluff on
the floor or a foot that needs grooming.
When you and I set the food bowl down,
the best most cats ever manage is a lei-
surely stroll while showing off the latest
in tail-hook maneuvers. I’d bet feline TV
stars know there’s a piece of raw chicken
liver in the bottom of the bowl…
4
Do cats ever seek you out because
you’re you? No. Cat people are largely de-
lusional. On the occasion that a cat takes
time from its busy day to rub their facial
scent glands across some part of the hu-
man anatomy, cat lovers feel adored. I
have always thought it significant that
cats prefer to mark the human face with
the glands located near the anus. Indul-
gent owners just smile while gently nudg-
ing the cat’s posterior away from their
mouth. Can you imagine a dog owner be-
ing flattered by a butt-rub facial?!?! And
that “making bread” thing cats do which
so delights the human psyche. Get real.
They just as happily knead a roll of toilet
paper!
A dog will follow you because you’re
the pack leader and he knows you will
never lead him wrong. A cat will follow
you out of curiosity - nothing more, noth-
ing less. Will a cat stand fast to protect
you? No. We once had a short-lived cat
that attacked any car that entered our
driveway. Tac-Cat’s stupid obsession was
funny but not protective. When a visitor
emerged from the car, she considered it
an unforgivable disruption in her other-
wise orderly world and would disappear
just like any other feline.
So what about horses, you ask? Well
now, you’re talking to an accomplished
horsewoman. Nothing fancy, we showed a
little at halter but mostly I did the games.
Barrel Racing, Keyhole, Polebending –
that sort of thing where the only judge
was a stop watch. I loved my horses. Fed
them, polished them, and learned to trim
hooves. I was so into horses I became
proficient in buying auction “snakes” and
developing them into saleable, well man-
nered riding horses.
But, did I ever have one that would
come when called unless I was holding the
feed bucket? No. It took no time at all to
realize that Smokey, Flicka, Thunderhead,
and The Black were only works of fiction.
Like cats, horses couldn’t care less about
protecting anything not equine. They say
donkeys protect flocks or herds or some
such nonsense. No way. Jacks just go af-
ter anything they don’t know personally,
including unfamiliar humans. Horses and
mules settled the west and won WWI for
us. Giving credit where it’s due. But not a
one went to war without a bit in its mouth!
We have a friend who is a multi-species
trainer and her liberty horse performs
beautifully but not because he wants to do
it for her! She could ask him all day long
to bring in the sheep or fetch the newspa-
per and he’d just swish his tail in her face.
When she asks her German Shepherd to
go out to the round pen and bring her the
feed bucket, Colonel not only does it, he’s
delighted that she asked. Let a horse get
himself in trouble and it is the dog that
alerts Joan to the problem. Can you imag-
ine it the other way around?!?!
When the day is over, the horse gladly
shucks the reins of civilization and heads
for equine companionship and a good roll.
Where is your dog? If not at your side, he’s
waiting at the door. Think about going out
and your dog is looking for the keys but
is your horse thrilled when you hook to
the trailer or is he gone? If sickness pre-
vented you from feeding the horse, would
he worry about your absence? Or would
he leave you horseless at the first sign of
an open gate?
Your dog will starve rather than leave
you. Unlike the mules in forced servitude,
military dogs trotted happily alongside
the handler. They protected the camps,
carried messages, and boosted moral
when the going got really tough.
Well, I think we settled that subject