So You Called her a Side Ho....Really? R U Serious?
Courtesy of PreciousSwain.com
But what gives you the right to call her that? This is going to ruffle a few feathers but it is time we faced some truths. The fact is the either you are “Married” or you are “single” Now if you are having unmarried sex you are fornicating; If you are sleeping with someone married you are committing adultery. We go through life making up the rules as we go bending and pulling them to fit our feelings and our situation. So you may be saying but he is MY boyfriend or she is MY girlfriend let’s look at the word friend for a moment. According to Merriam-Webster friend means: 1. 1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : acquaintance 2. 2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group 3. 3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity) 4. 4 : a favored companion Now looking at this definition it is quite simple to see that pretty much any male /female associate can fit the description as a friend with the gender reference just clarifying the gender of the friend being discussed. There is no true commitment attached to the title. So in our mind we have convinced ourselves that sex symbolizes commitment when in all actuality it does not. It relieves tension, it causes temporary euphoria, but it does not create a commitment. If you were single when you laid down you will still be single when you get up…at least in the natural but we will discuss the other at another time. Well he/she lives with me …we have children …so… that doesn’t make you married. That means you are a friend with benefits; well sometimes they’re benefits sometimes they aren’t. So we cook and clean, work; invest time/money/emotions into a relationship that does not really exist. At any given moment that other person your friend can decide to have sex with another friend even though we have this false sense of entitlement that other friend has just as much right to have sex with them as we do. None of us want to hear this and definitely don’t want it to happen to us but until we get married we don’t have any true commitment, rights, or real relationship. Before we go any further I do not uphold, condone, or support men or women having multiple partners. So don't go blaming me for whatever you may have going on. One way to avoid the pain of feeling cheated on by someone that is only a friend technically is to simply leave them in the friend zone. Stop performing wife/husband duties on friends and reserve them for your actual wife/husband. Because this is where the pain really comes in in your mind you are married and then reality hits that you have cooked, washed. and paid bills for someone who didn't commit to you. But why didn't they commit? HHHmmmm why should they? It's like why people get rental cars long term but have a car in the yard they want the look and feel of the car but not the maintenance or long term commitment of owning it...they run up the miles and take it back. Plus why would I buy something I can get free....R u serious? Even as a female I expect a man to provide, protect, and proclaim...but in the dating/courting stages I expect him to prove he can without doing too much..Let me explain. He should pray with me, pay on the dates, make me feel special, listen to my random banter, fix things that are broken...AND GO
HOME in HIS VEHICHLE...when he visits he will realize that the house is clean that food is cooked the mannerism of the children and if he listens well he will know what moves me ..So we are able to witness that one another know the duties of a husband / wife without playing house. So he has a choice if this he wants long term and waiting when he gets home he needs to commit or find a substitute because without the commitment it will remain things he knows I can do that he may get a preview of while visiting but can't have. But if I look up and he is paying all my bills, etc why would i commit I am just going to get all the benefits of being a wife without having to tied down. Now I have no problem with a man helping a woman in the dating stage, but he should not have to fully support a woman without the commitment of her being his wife and vice versa. Also, stop giving your body to a friend scripture says that 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 1Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. Hold on it doesn’t say girl/boyfriend anywhere in the scripture. So if you choose to have sex that is clearly your choice…by no means can I judge you for sure. But stop mentally lying to yourself forcing yourself to think that because you are having sex you have a right to this person exclusively because you do not. If you choose to play the friend game play it like a champ; stop fronting on facebook, acting stupid in the street, hollering about all you did for the guy or girl because you chose to do it they didn’t make you …you knew you were just a friend keep it 100. So is it really worth it ….. Now in a situation where marriage is involved there should be no cheating as scriptures tells us Ephesians 5:31 - For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. But we all know that it happens now the third person in the case is most definitely undeniably a side something also known as an adulterer. But this is a different circumstance and another topic to be discussed at a later date. I will say though that in this case make some decisions if you decide to stay with the cheater don’t bring it back up because you could have left. Precious Swain I Am the Rose who grew from the concrete. I do not advocate cheaters, side pieces, but I do advocate facts and truth and if we are always gonna talk about 100 than lets deal in truth and not that thing that we call truth that we change to fit our mood.