WOMEN’S
Do you talk to your best
friend about your
marital problems?
Y
ou may find your friends there for you in the most
trying times, but how much should you actually involve them in your life? According to relationship
professionals, when one has a conflict with their spouse,
it is natural for them to approach their friends and family and vent out. But you never realise that at times it
often does more harm than good to your relationship.
For example, your best friend may try talking on your
behalf to him or her and if it does not go down too well
with your partner, it may escalate problems between the
two of you.
Asma Amjad who has been married for seven years,
says, "I found it comforting to talk to my best friend about
what happens between my husband and me. However,
one day when my friend and her husband came over,
she jokingly remarked how she knows what goes on in
our house and the fights I've had with my husband. That
day I realised I shouldn't have discussed this with her
at all."
Dr Sufia Majid, relationship counsellor says, "Though
there is nothing wrong about confiding to someone you
find solace in, do not express too much, else it may
backfire or make you misunderstand your spouse."
You may create a wrong impression about your spouse
Often you do not realise but you end up putting your
partner in a wrong light in front of your friends and family. If you have common friends, they start judging your
husband or wife. Not only is this wrong for your husband
but for you as well.
Your partner may stop trusting you
Taking bedroom conversations out is also another way
to lose out on the trust your spouse has on you. Letting
out too many details can only make your partner lose
their faith in you or a longer period of time.
Your friends should only be your 'first line
therapist'
If you have complete trust in your friend and need his or
her perspective on the matter, then you can confide, but
without some very private information and keep it just
between you and your partner.
You might have a major misunderstanding
with your partner due to letting out too much
You never know whether your friend really wants the
best for you or not. Says marriage counselor Dr Bilal
Khalid, "What your friend advices you may always not
be in the best interest. He or she may not be able to
relate with you and thus could give you a false advice
which may then further worsen the condition between
you and your spouse."
Who you can share your problems with
First and foremost if you have a serious problem with
your spouse, you must talk it out with him or her.
Seek professional help if required. A therapist looks at
the issue from both the sides, will understand both of
you and will not be judgmental.
Talk to your parents, in-laws or your siblings. At times its
easier for families to talk it out to your spouse and settle
problems if any.
31 | BOOM