T HE ANATOMY OF A FAILURE
Michele Aikens
@ sepiaprimewoman
“ It has happened again .” I placed my hopes and faith in something big ; something that would validate my instincts , talents and purpose . I strategized and meditated . I looked at the problem from every angle . I anticipated setbacks and made allowances for them . I networked . I worked without pay , knowing that I was planting valuable seed into something that would provide a return on my investments of blood , sweat and tears .
And “ it ” happened again . The dream didn ’ t come to pass , the company failed , the relationship ended . And in my heart , I asked , “ Why does “ it ” keep happening to me ?”
It is failure , or at least what appears to be . I hear your sarcasm coming back at me through the Internet or the mental post office depending on where you are reading this . It appears to be failure because at this moment , you don ’ t know the role “ it ” plays in your success . One definition of anatomy is : “ a study of the structure or internal workings of something ”, so let ’ s study the structure AND the internal workings of the “ it ” we call failure .
When do we first perceive failure ? Depending on how you are wired , it could be the first time you are disappointed after putting in a lot of effort . Leaders are people who are used to “ getting things done ,” and “ making it happen .” We do that many times by force of will , incredibly large amounts of hard work , and the ability to influence the thoughts and actions of others . That ’ s part of what makes a leader , a leader . But what happens when all of the things we know to do and learn to do , don ’ t result in the success we look for ? Disappointment . One component of what we perceive as failure , we can agree is disappointment .
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How we leaders can internalize their disappointment , however , is what supplies the next building block to “ failure ”. Looking the disappointment head on should provoke us to ask questions , but it is the nature of the questioning that will push the leader towards ultimate success or ultimate failure .
The first line of questioning centers around things like evaluating and adjusting : were the right people in the right place , were resources allocated properly , was there sufficient time to implement . Those kinds of questions let us know the leader is making adjustments for future efforts . This is healthy . This line of questioning will lead to ultimate success .
There is another line of questioning , however , that can send the leader into the direction opposite success . These questions , rarely uttered out loud , sound like this : Am I made of the stuff that fails at everything I do ? The last thing I tried did the same thing , what ’ s wrong with me ?
Both leaders experienced disappointment , but they responded to the disappointment in different ways . While the disappointment may have temporarily knocked down the first leader , the second leader has begun to question his right to success . The first leader is evaluating actions and outcomes to make adjustments ; the second leader is evaluating himself in light of outcomes . Both are making adjustments , but one is making a dangerous adjustment in how she views her potential for success . We will all have disappointments , but allowing them to lead us into discouragement or a lack of courage to keep going is the second major block in real failure .
Both leaders experienced disappointment , but they responded to the disappointment in different ways . While the disappointment may have temporarily knocked down the first leader , the second leader has begun to question his right to success . The first leader is evaluating actions and outcomes to make adjustments ; the second leader is evaluating himself in light of outcomes . Both are making adjustments , but one is making a dangerous adjustment in how she views