Culture Clash
Despite my initial protest, it was all worth it. The wedding was amazing, and I feel like I married into a whole new family. They have been truly amazing and helpful with the baby.
However it was a little frustrating at times as there were some cultural road blocks. For example, I wanted to take my daughter out after a month or two to go visit some of my friends. Nope. Everyone gave me a hard time because she was too young. I wanted to take her for a walk in her stroller. Nope. It was too hot. When I wanted to do this or that, it was like I had to pass an approval's board or something with them. I lost my temper once when the maid actually called my wife to report that I was about to take my daughter outside for a walk.
Luckily, I never really had to buy anything for the baby. Between her parents and mine, aunts, cousins, and others, they took care of everything. They not only accepted her, but they love her and show her off at every opportunity. I never once felt any sort of negativity from them or any locals at all. I have caught some white expats giving us looks, but that’s about it. And they usually only do it when I’m not around. But from the Thais, nothing but love. They even showed my son from a previous marriage the same love they showed their own grandchild. I was truly humbled.
Colorism in Thailand
Those baby years are behind us and she’s almost 6 now. Despite Thais treating her personally with love and kindness, they have some SERIOUS colorism issues. The skin whitening market is worth billions here and it’s in everything they touch. All you see every day is whitening this, whitening that, messages telling you that if you’re whiter you’re better. With that type of media exposure, how long before my daughter begins to believe what they're saying? I know self esteem is at the core of a woman’s health, so I can’t afford to let those messages affect her. I worry about it every day as I try to remain vigilant with countering those toxic messages with those affirming her beauty, intelligence, and strength.
Educating Our Child
Schools here are VERY expensive and not really that good. In our situation, if she goes to a Thai school the level of education will be poor by my standards and her English weak. She will be more likely to encounter tormenting from her peers for being different. If she goes to an international school, it’s easily going to cost $1000+/month. While the education will be decent, they do not teach Thai. She could then become a Thai who’s illiterate and dysfunctional in her own country. She has to be fluent in both languages, so when she gets older she has some real choices as to where she wants to live and what she wants to do.
We ultimately chose a bilingual school. These are schools that teach Thai and English in equal portions across a variety of subjects. They are also about half the price of international schools, with a more diverse student body. The issue that we have here is that the majority of the bilingual schools are Christian based. But there are some schools that do not make Bible study mandatory. We chose the best school for Tyra based on level of education, proximity to our house, and lack of proselytization. She loves the school, she’s doing well, and she’s making a lot of new friends from all over the world.