The New Addition
The blankets at this place looked like beach towels, not even really nice ones either, just cheesy white beach towels. Fifty million hospitals in Bangkok and we had to go to this one in the center of the city, passing at least a dozen others, with all kinds of traffic. This hospital was in the middle of renovations, with rooms that looked like they haven’t been remodeled since the Cosby show first aired. Why? Because that’s where everyone else in her family gave birth, so that’s where our daughter was going to be born. But for all my griping, truth is, they were right. It was a good hospital, our room was the size of a large 1 bedroom apartment with plenty of sofas, a bedroom, and bathrooms for privacy.
The doctors and nurses were great, and they treated her with care and empathy. I guess that’s the first thing I learned about being a dad married to a Thai. In Thailand, you’re only partially in the driver’s seat, and there it takes a family to raise a child.
Love Abroad
I’m from West Philly, and I lived between there and upstate PA growing up. As an adult I worked in North Philly for Bell (Verizon) until my mid 20’s when the forces of fate pointed me in the direction of a US govt contracting gig in the middle east. I took it and never looked back.
That was in 2001. I lived here in Thailand and worked in the middle east and Bangkok ever since. It wasn’t until I turned 30 that I realized two very important truths about what I wanted from life. First, I knew that I wanted to live in Thailand indefinitely. Second, after many years of meaningless debauchery, I was ready to step up from that and look for a partner to share my life with. So I moved away from the playful nightlife and into a nice area of Bangkok where I went online, completed a very honest profile of myself and went to work in Iraq while I waited.
Initially nobody of merit contacted me, then she emailed me, and I don’t know why, but I ignored her. I didn’t like the picture she sent me! But it was like the hand of fate again, nobody else really interested me. So I emailed her back, and it was like an instant spark.
We chatted every single day about everything. When we finally met we went on a few dates and talked again every day while I was away. I had already met her parents on my second trip back to Thailand three months into our relationship. Her mother was worried at first; she thought I might fulfill the negative stereotypes she had of African Americans. But her view quickly changed after a few dinners. Now I call her “Maa” (mom). And her wonderful Chinese grandmother loved me, and cooked, especially for me. She made the best green curry I have ever had in my life.
By the time I saw her again for a third time about six months had past and I knew she was the one. I asked her father (before I asked her) if I could marry his daughter. He agreed but with the stipulation that she be 25, she was 23 at the time. He wanted her to know herself better and for everyone to get the chance to know me better. This meant that for the next two years she continued to live at home with her parents and could not leave the house overnight with me, ever.
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