BK Designs & Photography Ateres Star Issue 6 - Purim Edition | Page 5

The Ateres Yaakov Star – Purim Edition

March 2015

DEFLATEGATE II— MAY EAGLES INVESTIGATED BY YFL – continued from cover

By Ari Banner-11th Grade
anonymous source has leaked
an exclusive to this intrepid AY
Star reporter that the May Eagles may have swapped the
football given to them by the
league for another smaller and
better gripped football
made by NERF™. In
pregame warmups, Dani
Feit, a cornerback on the
team, was seen juggling 8
of the Eagles footballs to
warm up, a feat seemingly
impossible with standard,
league-issued balls.
The games in question took place just a week after
the New England Patriots were
suspected of deflating the footballs they used in the AFC
Championship game. “The timing of the event is a critical
piece of evidence that will be
used in Rambam’s argument
against MAY. Obviously, Ari
Shaulson and Tom Brady have

been in touch”, said Kalav
Graveman, the Rambam quarterback.
The league announced
that if the MAY Eagles are indeed guilty of this offense, the

Zechus to the Talmidim and not
draw any conclusions prematurely.” When asked about the
current situation with the team,
one Rebbe, Rabbi Avi Shulman,
responded in standard Jewish
form with a question:
“What would the Rambam
think of a school whose
name is ‘Rambam’ accusing another Jew of cheating?”

team would be penalized with
losing the game at best and
suspension from the league at
worst. Numerous MAY faculty
members have weighed in on
the situation including the
Mashgiach Ruchani, Rabbi
Horowitz, who asserted that,
“We should be Dan Lichaf

Statis ѥ