What you should do if you are
a SINGLE MOM?
Being a SINGLE MOM isn't easy.
With all the demands on your time and attention, it's
normal to feel lost and lonely. It's easy to feel like your
life doesn't matter any longer because everything is all
about your kids. While most SINGLE MOM would admit
to feeling that way, not having another parent to share
the load with can be downright excruciating.
So how do you take care of
yourself when you're feeling
overwhelmed and stressed?
PUT YOURSELF AT THE TOP OF YOUR LIST
You have got to take care of yourself first, before you
can fully expect to take care of anyone else. If your child
was hurting, you'd show her/him love and attentions.
Show yourself this same kind of attention. Make sure
you're eating well, getting rest, and making time for fun
with friends. You'll find you have more hope and strength
to be able to tackle what's in front of you.
DEVELOP A SUPPORT NETWORK
It's really important for you to surround yourself with
people who can help you with the difficult challenge of
being a SINGLE MOM. You need to know who the people
are that you can count on. Make an actual list of these
people, so you can remind yourself you're not doing this
all alone.
REFUSE TO BE THE VICTIM
Instead of asking why me? Ask yourself what you can
learn from your situation. It's through the hard times that
we grow and learn the most about ourselves.
SPEAK RESPECTFULLY OF YOUR CHILD'S OTHER
PARENT
You might have every right to trash talk the other parent
of your child. It's important that your child don't become
your outlet every time you want to vent about her/his
father. Make sure you don't stain the relationship your
child have with her/his father, regardless of what you
think about him.
MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD DON'T DEVELOP ANY
PRE-NOTION ABOUT MARRIAGES
Child learns very fast what we think she/he can. They
observe everything which is happening around her/him.
You should make sure of that, your child don't develop
any negative notions about marriages, if she/he
develops it then they will fear to get married. So never in
front of her/him bitch about her/his father. In fact you
should make them understand that marriages are made
in heaven and its beautiful, doesn't matter what you feel
personally about it.
MOTHER
She wakes up early in the morning without an alarm.
She doesn't have an option to snooze her sleep. And in
case she does.. Hey ! Hey ! Wake up you're dreaming.
She begins her day in the kitchen and probably ends
there too. Firstly, she has to decide the menu of the
day according to the likes/dislikes of the family
members. Once that is done she accumulates all the
ingredients and prepares a tongue watering food. In the
meantime she freshens up herself and wakes everyone
as per their schedule. Sometimes she gets some
shouting also in the course of waking up her teenage
child.
Then serves the breakfast and pushes everyone to
their work. And starts her dusting (cleaning the house
with the help of clothes, etc), connected with her
mother or sister on the other end phone. Rushing to
hang clothes, arranging clothes, etc. She continues
with her to and fro motion.
As soon as ear eyes catches the clock she realises that
it's already 2:00 pm. She's craving for food but then too
she doesn't forgets to call her child and enquire about
the lunch. And if she finds out he/she have had eaten
outside, then with a disappointed face she completes
her food..
Things continues.. Right?
Do you think your mother has just these things to do?
Don't you think she have sacrificed her life and
ambitions, so that her family flourishes and fulfil their
wishes.
Just a piece of advice to young teenagers:
Help your mother one day in chopping the vegetables
and see the smile on her face. Make your bed
someday! Clean up the house, tell her to take rest.
I do that and you know the best part of it, I'm not
ashamed of these household work.
By Ankur (SYBCOM)
St. Xavier's College, Mumbai