The Edge - part 1
I’m applying for The Royal Ballet and the New York City Ballet. Just sent the applications out.
I’m Oakley, sixteen years old and I am not confident whatsoever and my mind loves to
overthink a lot. I’ve been dancing since I was like two and I have severe generalized anxiety
disorder and yes it does affect my dancing and also my school work, especially in exams. I
have been dancing at the best ballet academy close to where I live and that my parents can
afford. I still need to go to actual school though. I can't do homeschooling because my
parents want me to have a good education as ballet won’t be a career for me anymore.
I have class every day from 3:30 to 7:30 with the same teacher I've had since I was four
years old. Ms. Tatiana who is fairly young maybe around thirty years of age. She has always
been gentle with me and my anxiety. But sometimes when she isn't in an admirable mood,
she goes off guard. That's when I embarrass myself in front of everyone. I tend to get anxiety
attacks when Ms. Tatiana blows up and she usually blows up at me. She tells me she wants
the best for me but I don't even know how she sees if I can't and I never did. Like yeah, it’s
anxiety no big deal but depression may be at a borderline.
My next performance is in Balanchine's Nutcracker. Every ballet academy does it every
single year. My role is “Clara”, the main character which is going to be on pointe because
I’m advanced enough to do it.