Tonya invited me into her beautiful home and she served me some brown sugar and maple bacon, eggs, grits, stawberries, blueberries, and juice. One thing that was consistently in the air and in my spirit about her was her ability to be bold in character, but yet humble in spirit. Her smile was forever radiant and as she told me her life story. What I thought I knew about her from afar was nothing compared to who she really was. Tonya, mother of two, Krystle and Courtney, and grandmother to Dalton, and life partner of 13 years to Clement Artist, is very passionate about her faith, family, and purpose. Though she appears to be this very bubbly spirit, she is also a very wise soul.
Tonya, who grew up in Conway, SC, had her first child when she was 18years old. She reflected on how her daughters' father was present, though not in the home, was very strong and supportive. She felt the love of the community as they supported her on her journey to motherhood. Tonya reflected on the challenges of raising her daughters and being a single parent. She had to work and remembers the struggle of knowing she needed to spend more time with her girls, but needed to provide for them as well. Though she says that now having a grandson she understands how important it is to give him all of her attention when he is with her. Now, she focuses of God, her family, and her career and in that specific order.
Reflecting on Faith and her not so traditional relationship with her life partner of 13 years Clement, when I asked her questions she was straight to the point and very clear about her journey through faith and her relationship. Tonya stated that yes she wants to be married and they have talked about it often the ideas and where and how. Though she is secure in her commitment to the relationship because she is secure in herself and what she is called to do in life. She trust that God will take care of her and him. Tonya says for her marriage is not a really big thing, because she was previously married before and because she already has children that desire or calling has already been fulfilled. She has had friends who have had the big wedding and then two years later they are divorced. She says, "Being married does not necessarily mean that you are going to be commited. However I do believe that in the eyes of God that this is what God wants us to do." "In my upbringing I just have always felt like we should be married in the eyes of God. God has really blessed us, but I think that if we solidify our union that God would give us many more blessings from that though that is not because of what others say or want, it's because I know my God and I know what I believe God wants." I told Tonya that I believed that God has blessed them both individually and collectively, but it was my personal belief that when two people stand before God and pledge their love to one another that adding in that knot of the three fold cord that double blessings come. Tonya said, "I believe that too."
Tonya, started her career in the medical field as an office manager for a large physicians group. She always wanted to sell real estate, but her father got sick so she had to put it on hold. Then when he passed and the doctors office where she worked informed her that they were going to retire she decided it was time to persue her license to sell real estate. Tonya is also a model for Foxy Lady and has modeled for them for 12 years. She started out helping them with fundraisers and then she started doing it for the Make a Wish Foundation. "I love modeling and it takes me out of my element," Tonya says.
Tonya loves being with her family and she is a people person. She likes being out connecting. Her vision and goal really is to start a nonprofit organization for women. "What I have found when I meet people is that they are hurting. People just open up to me and people have stories and I learn from them." "If people don't know you or respect you, they won't do business with you." Tonya said that she is now also working partime in a pain center. She has found that when people come in they are hurting from more than just regular physical aches and pain...people are hurting.
After the interview it was clear, that Tonya, has found ways and has allowed God to direct her life to share God's message, good news, and encouragement with people in nontraditional ways and settings. In our off the record time, Tonya shared wisdom and insights on how to get out of our box and mingle and meet different people and explore different hobbies and activites. She even invited me to bring my family over and hang out around the pool this summer. I believe that Tonya, is one of God's leading ladies who is seeking out God's people to help them however she can and she is willing to go into nontraditional settings to find and lead God's people back to him through love, fellowship, and fun.
"Faith in Peculiar Places"
By: Rev. Angel Onley-Livingston