Elsa Yeboah-Boateng
B
reaking up is never easy, and while 20
years ago there may well have been little or no post
break-up contact between exes, 21st century technology – from social media to Whatsapp – means
there are many new ways to open old wounds. With
so many communications channels with which to
get hold of people, and with so much of our lives
visible online through such tools as Facebook, it’s
easy to keep an eye on our exes once we’ve parted.
A recent study found that “Facebook stalking” an ex
-partner was found to hinder recovery after the end
of the relationship through prolonging the emotional distress felt. Those who were more traumatised by the break-up were more likely to indulge in
Facebook stalking. It’s hard to imagine that these
people would all have been prepared to stalk their
ex-partners so readily in real life. What is the Internet doing to our relationships with other people
that lead us to behave so differently on- and offline?
The two key attributes the Internet offers that allow
people to act so differently online are anonymity and
physical distance. These attributes contribute to
the disinhibition effect. The Internet essentially removes the constraints we usually feel when talking
face-to-face, with the resulting effects on our behaviour, leading to online bullying, trolling, stalking and
flaming. The regularity with which these behaviours
appear in the media might lead us to think that the
disinhibition effect has only negative effects, but
there can be positive effects too.
“The Internet essentially
removes the constraints we
usually feel when talking face-to
-face, with the resulting effects
on our behaviour, leading to
online bullying, trolling, stalking
and flaming.”
22