At that moment, Dr Msibi, the school’s therapist, remained startled by young Nolwazi’s
reaction. During his years as a psychologist, he
had dealt with several cases whereby the patient suddenly runs off, but it still surprises
him. They hadn’t even started speaking about
what brought her to his office. Suddenly the
conversation was over. Who said having a
Masters in psychology would help get patients
to open up, he thought to himself. He was
now more convinced than ever that she was a
troubled young girl who really was bothered
by the things she’s been through.
Breathing profusely, Nolwazi raced across the
corridors to the ladies room. She stood in
front of the mirror. Unmoving. Unblinking.
Tears fell down her face endlessly. She looked
straight into her eyes as if expecting something to happen. Eventually, she looked away
and recollected her thoughts. “What have I
done?” she asked herself in revulsion. Wiping
her tears away, she turned to the mirror again,
expecting answers from it, so to speak. Her
mind was racing out of control again, she
couldn’t think straight.
“Hey Nolwazi” Thando greeted as she swaggered in.
“Hi Thando” she replied shying away. “Lwazi,
what’s the problem? Your allergies again? Oh,
you poor girl!” Thando said pitifully after spotting her red eyes. Forcefully faking a smile,
Nolwazi nodded trying so hard to hide her
puffy, watery eyes. Thando turned to the mirror to do her makeup.
Later that day, Nolwazi was alone in her room.
Her roomie had gone out. It’s Friday night!
That’s the life in varsity- everybody goes
clubbing all weekend. But not Nolwazi. She
liked it when everybody had gone out. Silence.
She called it. That is when she gets to be herself, and do what she likes. She sat at her desk
and started writing her diary as always.
Friday, 18 May 2013
Dear Diary,
Thank God the day is over. And it’s
a Friday night! I don’t have to hide
anymore. What was I even thinking
anyways? How could I go Dr Msibi?
Jeez! Did I really think that it was
going to help? I should have
known better than to trust Zama. I
mean I’d never discuss my problems with a stranger. I can deal with
everything on my own, as always.
It’s just me, myself and I. Strong
girls can deal with anything and
never break down. I don’t need anyone. But hey, what’s done is done.
It’s my second year, and it’s towards the end of my semester.
Soon I’ll be writing my exams. Just
two more months to go. I need to
put in more hours of study. Blood,
sweat and tears. All I want is to
make my parents proud. For once, I
was them to look at me and smile.
Let me get back to my books now.
Hope tomorrow will be better. Oh
Lord help me not do something
stupid again.
Goodnight Diary,
See you soon.
Nolwazi closed her diary and
placed it in her drawer. Taking a
deep breath, she opened her textbook and started studying.