Diary
As she proceeded to the library, she
thought of nothing but Basil. She
couldn’t help but smile to herself. He
was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She sat down at desk
closest to the glass wall. She looked out
to the school’s crop fields.
Her mind raced again.
“Nolwazi, how nice to see you again,
please come in,” he cooed, showing her
inside his office.
Her face dropped when she recalled the
quarrel she and Basil had before he left.
“Thank you Doc,” Nolwazi said tremulously sitting down.
“Clearly your past is haunting you and I
can’t help you, so why can’t you just talk
to someone professional?”
“Nolwazi, I just want to let you know
that I am here to help in any way I can.
Feel free to say everything. This is a
safe space. Whatever you say inside here
never escaped these walls, it remains between the two of us. Now tell me, how
are you feeling?” elaborated Dr Msibi.
She never forgot that statement in particular; it was the first time Basil used a
raucous tone on her.
Now as she sat there alone she thought
that maybe he was right. Maybe it was
time to face her past instead of running away. Maybe it was time to tell
somebody the truth, her version of the
truth. Maybe it was time for her to heal
and look ahead without thinking of the
past. She thought that maybe Dr Msibi
was heavenly sent to help her out of her
misery. She thought that there was no
better day than to do that than today.
Part of her was sceptical though.
What if she messes things up again?
What if the whole process turns out to
be useless? Her thoughts contradicted.
In due course, she said, “Today is the
day!” She took a deep breath, said a little
prayer, picked herself up from the chair
and headed for the door.
He continued in an unrehearsed manner, “I’m happy you changed your mind,
eventually. Please relax and sit on the
couch. Feel at home.”
“I’m okay” she answered promptly without thinking.
He moved on and said “That’s good.
What is bothering you LaGule?”
Silence.
He watched her mouth quiver as she
struggled to answer the question. She
felt the hot wet tears fill up her eyes; her
throat closed up tightly and each word
pitched higher than the last to speak out
the words that were bottled up inside
of her. Finally, the tears spilt over and
flowed down her face like a river escaping a dam. B
LIFESTYLE